I'm so angry and upset... just contemplating everything. I had a good life going for me... I was going through school with a goal to be in the FBI, had a good single life, only myself to worry about, and job offers. Gave that all up for one idiot man who took me for granted. I gave up everything I knew to marry and move to be with him out of state.

Things just won't look up for me at all.. seems the plan with my mom's friend won't work out. I am in such dispair!!! At this point I don't even know how I'm going to get up in the morning. Since mom and dad are split up she has been staying at his house and helping me. They got into a huge argument this morning and said she could stay no longer. So she packed up her things and my sisters and now I'm here alone. My dad goes off in his own world and my 16 year old brother is a roided up headcase.

I can't stop crying. I play back in my mind the cruel things he has done and said and wonder how someone can be so terrible. I think about how he can praise me in all areas and says my one flaw is the love department, everywhere else is perfect. Blames me that I'm not affectionate enough. That his one condition is sexuality and intimacy and I'm not giving it to him and there is no chemistry. It hurts that he throws that in my face knowing I had been sick morning, noon, and night for 3 months straight bc of morning sickness- and even then I tried to make attempts. No chemistry in bed??

I will try to start at the beginning of his bad behavior... so we were in the process of relocating from CA to AZ... being 4 months pregnant, packing proved to be very tiresome since I was doing a lot of it alone in a house that has no AC. The day before we leave, I complain to SH (stupid husband) about how some of the items he has in the house (aka the hundreds of stuffed animals) should be donated. SH had been worried about whether there would be enough space in the trailer he had rented. I told him there would be no reason to bring all those stuffed animals and to give some away.