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MrsFitMama's Blog

Anything but my holiday

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Is it selfish that I used my in that title entry?
I figured starting a new family, I would be able to infiltrate my ideas of how holidays would play out. Jokes on me. He doesn't much adopt anything new from me. "well I grew up doing this, and I want to continue that." I fucking hate joinging a ready made family! Why hadn't things like this occured to me?

Why am I scared

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I'm feeling extremely intimidate and scared... but I can't even say that is the emotion I am feeling. My heart feels aprehensive... I guess becuase there is so much unknown about what is to come. I can't figure out if my husband is controlling and emotionally abusive or if he just had a bad day...

I think we can all admit our bad days. We act in ways that embarrass us, we say really hurtful things. It happens.
Then I don't want to feel like I'm putting excuses up for him. Because of how I'm beginning to feel, I think I am falling out of love with him.

I bring out the worst in him

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After an argument last night, he admitted he is never like this and I bring out the worst in him. He doesn't like speaking to me the way he has... that he gets tired of us constantly fighting and my nagging that he's in over his head. He said his patience is wearing thin. He wants to "nip things in the bud" right when there's a disagreement... it ALWAYS turns heated. I want to walk away from the argument and cool off... plus there's inappropriate times for these things and he can give a damn less.

New marriage, but doesn't seem like it.

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I'm tired. Almost completed our 4 months since being married. I have a husband who insults and belittles me and finds that ok when he feels he is right... oh yeah... Mr. Right... all the time. I have repeatedly requested him not to speak to me in that way in front of the girls. No wonder they have a hard time respecting me.

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