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New here and stressing!!

needs_a_drink's picture

Submitted by needs_a_drink on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 5:42pm

I'm so glad I found this site...I've been so stressed and upset for a long time. My heart goes out to all the step-parents of more than one skid. I have a SD11, who lives with us full-time, she always has. I've been her "mom" for over 4 years. SD only has phone contact with her BM, although she lives 5 miles away, and has no physical visitation-this tells you what kind of person BM is-it's been this way for a long time.

Lately, I don't know what's going on with SD...she's crying all the time, won't talk about it with me or DH-she flat out ignores me or gives me attitude. She is up DH's butt, is clingy, has to stand next to him to the point of touching. He doesn't say anything about it. I think it's getting ridiculous. She wants him all to herself even though during the week days I see my DH and SD maybe 3 hours a night b/c of the shift I work. She is always asking DH to watch a show with her in her room or play games with her as soon as I get home. Never the prior 4 hours she was there with him by herself. She gets so mad when DH says no that he's trying to relax 30 mins before bed. It's to the point of where I don't want to go home. DH isn't doing anything about it and I'm getting mad. Last night we were in bed and I thought DH was sleeping. She said through the door, I want to say goodnight to dad (huh, typical) and I said he's sleeping. Then DH said what did she want (didn't realize he was still awake) and I told him, he rolled his eyes and sighed saying why didn't I tell him. He came back and said she was crying. I was like this is beyond ridiculous, you need to do something about her!

Come on...she's 11 and say goodnight when you know we're going to bed, and she knew! I'm having a very very hard time, as that's unfortunately the tip of the iceberg but the latest annoyance. :?

Comments

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

Submitted by ubrngoutdbitchnme on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 9:34pm

Maybe she is getting ready to hit puberty.....I don't know that is my best guess right now. Or do you know what her and BM speak about when they have their phone contact? I would think that maybe BM is feeding her some BS.

She has lived with you for the past 4 years right? So you should feel comfortable enough to tell her like it is. She waits until you get home to ask dear daddy to hang with her.....that would piss me off. If your DH doesn't say anything to her about that annoying behavior then you have to say something.

Why do you think she is acting this way?

needs_a_drink's picture

Submitted by needs_a_drink on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 7:11am

I was thinking that it might be emotions from puberty but she does things deliberately to be snotty and give only me attitude. It amazes me that DH doesn't see it...but then again he's on the receiving end of being needed 24/7 by his kid. Something has to change b/c I feel like I'm completely not wanted in my own house. I've been ignored by both DH and SD for 3 days, I could deal with SD doing it for weeks but now I'm the bad guy to DH. It's hard to handle. So I've been leaving and not coming back until really late, then I get the 3rd degree of why I'm leaving. I just said when you two want me around, let me know...but I'm not waiting 7 years until she's in college.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 10:34pm

I am not sure if this will help, but I went through a really strange thing a bit earlier than your SD. I got really clingy with my mom and I would cry at night. I wished she would just sit in my room with me. It was when I started realizing that people die and I used to get scared every night that it would happen to my mom.

I'm sure that this is a bit extreme and not what your SD is going through, but something is making her very insecure and its targeted at her dad. She needs someone to get her to talk.