Siferra's Blog
How to say I don't like SS?
We've had SS5 full time for 3 weeks now. I've been moody and melancholy lately and my DH has started to notice.
I always knew that marrying a man with a child meant we were making a new family with a child already in it. I also knew it was a possibility he would be with us full time eventually. But, I'm frustrated that I never have any alone time with my DH anymore. My SS doesn't listen very well, and is in a HUGE whiny stage, so I feel like every 5 minutes I'm telling him to stop that, put that down, eat your food, don't jump on the couch, be quiet, don't whine, etc.
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Poor SS
My poor SS5 As a background, my DH and I just took full custody of SS5 because his BM is in such a poor state physically and financially that we feel she is unable to take care of him right now. It has been almost a week and a half since he has spent any time with her.
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Broken Nintendo DS
I love my DH! He's such a good dad.
My SS5 had a Nintendo DS that he loved to play (it was an old one that was my husbands). He would play rough with it, and we were regularly telling him to be careful, but he would forget sometimes as 5 year olds do.
Tonight, he broke it clean in two. What did DH do? Explained to SS5 that "You broke it, so you don't have it anymore" put him in time out, and then made SS5 put it in the trash. There is no chance we're going to be buying him another one any time soon. SS is devastated.
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CPs now
Well, now it looks like we are the custodial parents. For those who didn’t read my last post, BM has been having some health problems, and we aren’t comfortable leaving SS5 alone with her anymore. DH went to BM and said that we want primary custody, at least until she can get her health in order (and preferably find a way to support herself).
Apparently it was a super awkward conversation as she didn’t feel well enough to go to Starbucks, so they had this conversation in her parent’s house where she lives, with her dad glaring at my DH the whole time.
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Asking for Custody
DH is with BM right now at Starbucks....and he's asking her for custody of SS5! I am dying to know how this conversation is going.
Here's the story:
BM and DH broke up because she was unwilling to work or help around the house, and he got sick of supporting her while she lazed on the internet all day. She went to live with her parents (about a mile away from us), and spent the next year surfing the internet all night and sleeping all day while her mom watched SS. Her parents got sick of this, and demanded she go to school, which she did part time for 2 years.
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BM in the hospital!
This was our weekend, and we just got a call that BM is in the hospital. We don't know much, but she was having some chest pains, and so she went to the ER. Apparently she medication she's on has been damaging her heart, and she now has the heart of a 75 year old.
This is a super scary time. I don't know how to feel; everything I'm feeling seems very self centered and selfish. If she has long term repercusions from this (or even dies !) what will this mean for our custody agreement? SS5 needs a real mom, and it scares me to think that I might be called on to fill that role.
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Helpful or Annoying?
My SS5 is not talking very well yet. We have him in speech therapy and all the right programs, but it is difficult to understand him, and he’ll often mumble or point. We’re doing what we can to encourage him to use words.
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Oh no he didn't!
SS5 has largely been afraid of our dog, and will generally leave her alone. Lately he has started to play with her, which I encourage.
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I love you
My SS5 will say "I love you" all the time. He recently went through a phase when he would repeat it over and over to everybody. I always say "I love you too" because honestly, how do you say to a five year old "I have a complicated set of emotions that usually range from tolerance to acceptance of you"
Anybody else feel weird about saying "I love you" to skids?
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Update to the Food Fight
We are working on getting my SS5 to eat dinner. I wanted to update ya'll - the fight is going well.
We originally made him sit until he ate. He would sit for hours and make everybody generally miserable. Now we set a timer for a half hour, and whatever he doesn't eat, he doesn't get. He has gone hungry some days, but everybody seems less unhappy.
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