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Show up at MIL’s for Thanksgiving and SS is there

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 11/25/2022 - 9:23am

This year, SSs are with BM for Thanksgiving under the CO. Earlier this month, MIL says to DH, "I looked at pictures from last year and SSs were here last year, so they are not with you this year." DH confirms. As we're driving to MiL's house, DH gets a text from MIL saying, "oh, by the way, SS texted me on Monday and asked if he could come to thanksgiving. BM says it's okay. He's going to help me with my Christmas lights.

OT - Spoiled Sister-in-Law is getting married

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Mon, 10/24/2022 - 5:20pm

DH has a younger sister who has always been the princess of the family. She is in her 40s and I always thought she was opposed to marriage, but apparently, her SO of 5 years proposed and she is getting married in June (not sure why so soon...that seems quick to plan a wedding, especially since she lives in a foreign country). 

DH skips a weekend and BM’s life is hard

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Thu, 09/29/2022 - 9:25pm

Last weekend was DH's weekend with skids, but we had a family event out of state, so DH decided he would just skip his weekend. For context, SSs are nearing 17, so when they do come to our house, they mostly hang out in their rooms or go out with friends. They will sometimes eat dinner with us, one will play with DD a bit, and sometimes watch a movie with DH. DH sometimes plans things to do, but often we just have a regular weekend with chores, errands, or recovering from the work week. DH told SSs that he wasn't going to be around and both said "ok".

Where does she find these men?

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 09/06/2022 - 9:09pm

Apparently, BM has a new boyfriend. We know this because second SS finally passed his license test (after 6 or 7 tries) and the car that BM bought for this kid (the one she wanted DH to pay for and insure) is not worth the $5000 she paid for it because it's been "getting fixed" for at least a month. Last time SS was here, he drives up in another car. DH asks him if he got a new car. He replies, "no, it's mom's boyfriend's car." DH inquires as to why previous boyfriend's name has an extra car and is told, "oh, it's not his.

Another school year begins....

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Thu, 09/01/2022 - 2:00pm

SSs are passive participants at best in planning their education. BM is clueless and I think assumes (correctly in most cases) that she can just go in screaming or crying to the guidance counselor and change things after the fact. If DH expresses an opinion, he is told he is making the kids feel bad...most information is kept from him and despite updating his address in the system and talking to the school multiple times, he rarely gets any info directly from the school....so, he's backed out of any involvement. 

BM reminiscing about DH’s family gatherings

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 07/05/2022 - 8:26pm

We went to DH's family cabin for the 4th. While we were out there BM posts a photo of SSs at DH's family cabin on the 4th  from 12 years ago (she tagged both SSs), before she divorced DH, with the caption "Thinking about fun times with my boys. Great memories!" It's unclear if BM's boyfriend is still around...if he's not, I hope she won't start trying to reminisce with DH again. When DH and I were dating, she used to send him texts remembering "funny things" from when they were married.

I think SS has an eating disorder

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Mon, 03/14/2022 - 2:47am

Both BM and DH are large people. They both had weight loss surgery in the last years of their marriage. DH has been able to maintain about 140 lbs of weight lost since then (over a decade), but BM seems to have gained it all back. BM was always overweight, even in childhood. DH didn't gain weight until after high school. SS has always been told he takes after his mother's family and a year ago, after sports had been out of session for a bit, he had gained quite a bit of weight. Last summer (at age 15), he decided he wanted to lose weight.

DD has covid and BM makes it all about her

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Submitted by strugglingSM on Wed, 12/22/2021 - 12:33am

Our DD tested positive for covid this weekend. We were testing in anticipation of our first trip in two years. The same day we tested, we got an email about an outbreak at her daycare. We were shocked that she was positive because she has virtually no symptoms (she is still only slightly congested). We had to tell BM because SSs were with us on the day she tested positive. SSs are with MIL and have been since Saturday. They have all been testing daily and are negative. BM has sent five messages. To summarize: 

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