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BM not taking ANY action

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DH called bm On 8/11 to discuss sd11 had written an obituary for little sister. BM during call acted as if it wasn't too pressing though she agreed to call the childs therapist to setup an appreciate for all of us to go in and discuss. We then received a text saying "I'm sick to my stomach over this". I thought bullshit, but nevertheless we took it for what it worth . She asked us for dates for appt. Which we sent text in reply and here we are no appointment has been set!

BM Family Events

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On numerous occasions dh and I have had to take the kids to a bio family event because bm didnt mention it was happening or switched weekends with us so the kids could attend. Her excuse is, if an event falls ob your weekend you take them it it falls on mine i take them. However, its her "family" that is having the event. Like sn anniversary, a birthday party, etc. This has happened about 7x in the past 10 months! Its redicilous I think and dh agrees! First, she is not suppose to interfere with his visitations and second she doesn't even attend the events herself!!

Nanny?

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Things are progressively getting better with both of my stepdaughters (11 & 6). However, over the past 3 weeks I have heard SD11 say things like "your a nanny?" "you want to be a nanny." "your not my mother!" etc.

Love is in the air...

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I'm suprised! My SD11 has turned over a new leaf! She has decided (for now) to LOVE ME!!!

She has greeted me with kisses, hugs and smiles. She has opened up to me and talked about her day and other things without it being a 15 questions 1 answer deal. Though she still has the attitude at times, she has completely and totally changed. Here is what happened and what I think made the difference.

Parenting schedule proposal....

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Hi everyone, you all have such vast experiences with blended families that I need to tap into it prior to writing a "new" parenting arrangement proposal for my fiancee (I am the secretary of the family. hahaha)

He was divorced in 2008 and really was just going with the flow, but now he is interested in finding more balance with the parenting arrangement. Basically, BM and he have joint residential custody with BM being primary (state of florida). HE (we) have the kids (two girls) EOWE plus 2 weeks in summer and alternating holiday.

My knee hurts and no one cares!!!

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Night two of our 2nd week with sd11 & 6 and it's been hell from the moment I picked them up. DH was working so I met bm and sd11 was in one of her moods because she wanted to go to an event with her grandmother 3 days from now. She didn't want to get in the car, and was screaming and crying and acting crazy!!! bm and I spent 1/2 hour trying to get her in the car. Finally, I decided I'm gonna let her (bm) handle this after all it is her daughter. 1/2 hour later we were still not any closer to sd being in the car.

BM/F (her / him) and BM/F (you)

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I'm a BM to a girl (now an adult living on her own) and a new stepmom to two girls 11 & 6. Yes, I'm doing it all over again! I was thinking today, I know for a fact that I was not like the bm of my SDs. I was not in anyway shape or form vindictive, mean, manipulative, abusive, or anything SDs bm has been and continues to be. Not once (well maybe a lot in my head) did I say anything to my daughter about her father or his family! Maybe it was because I was young and hadn't come into my own.

BM has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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For the past 3 weeks I've been doing a lot of reading on stepparenting and PAS and really anything related to the topic of children and blended family. I have learned lots and it's been terrific my relationship with my fiancé. I read to myself, I dog ear important content, I then read to him and now he is asking for the books because he wants to read. We have gone from arguing about BM and skids to learning and establishing plans for how "we" are going to deal with or try to reduce problems. It's more positive vs the negative we were constantly bumbarded with on a daily basis.

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