You are here

(vent) Skids are BEGGING to go home....

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 2:21pm

Bios and I are helping them pack. Why is it that DH is the only one trying to make them stay?????? Get over it already! They're bored, they're tired of us, we're frustrated, we're tired of them. I wish he would man up and let it go! I cannot get over how screwed up the visitation schedule with these people is and how everyone is pretending its in the best interest of the children. I spoke with DH's attorney a couple of weeks ago and even he admits that the visitation needs to be changed. My head is killing me, my walks are getting longer and it seems as if tomorrow will never get here.

Lord, give me strength.

Comments

cat72196's picture

Submitted by cat72196 on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 2:27pm

Let me guess-- there is absolutely no structure, routine or expectations at BM's house, so as soon as they get to yours and realize it's not a 3-ring-circus free-for-all, they're bored to death? Like I said, just a wild guess...

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 2:47pm

YAY!! Poison Ivy's BOOT CAMP for wayward skids desperately needing STRUCTURE!

Is DH acting like you should lighten up on the structure and "maybe they'll WANT to stay longer??!"
:sick: :sick: :sick:

Keep rollin' with that bootcamp of yours!!

HMMM they WANT to go back to the BM's 24/7 House of Fun. . .what a SURPRISE!!!

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 9:29pm

Two thumbs up in my book!
We're the evil stepmoms! Clean your room, pick up your toys, say please and thank you, eat your dinner...

Heaven forbid!

cat72196's picture

Submitted by cat72196 on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 2:48pm

In all seriousness, this is the EXACT BS that makes me fear that if my relationship w/SO actually makes it, I will spend allllll our time w/his kids ATTEMPTING to undo the damage their white trash BM does. I guess that would be cool if I were in need of a hobby, but in all actuality, I have kids of my own who are in need (and actually deserve) my energy and attention... The more I think about it, the less willing I am to take it away from BDs to give to SO's kids...

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 2:53pm

Then you may need to start planning your exit strategy. Un-brainwashing a child who has been totally PASed out or simply trying to un-do weeks of bad behaviour allowed by the BM is no small task.

It's especially bad if biodad sees nothing wrong in letting his children "free range." Odds are though, that biodad will have quite a different opinion when it comes to YOUR kids. He'll insist on over the top discipline for your children; almost as if to "balance out" the total abdication of parental authority over HIS children.

cat72196's picture

Submitted by cat72196 on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 3:10pm

Actually, Auteur, I don't even need an exit strategy, as one has been handed to me on a silver platter-- SO & I live 300 miles away from each other. If we were to ever be living together, it would be because I would be moving THERE. I have already delayed that (it WAS gonna be this year!) because I told him there's no way I'm putting myself in the middle of his nasty custody dispute when I have a hard enough time removing myself/dealing w/it from this far away. I also have terrible resentment issues regarding the rape BM is committing w/the child support, as she has virtually NO living expenses pertaining to the kids. Basically, we are living in limbo, as our relationship can't really progress w/as little as we see each other. I love him dearly, but I'm not leaving everything I know and love-- not to mention my BDs' FATHER, whom I resepect and get along with famously-- to sentence myself to a life of prison, where SO's kids and ex run my life.

To his credit, SO has changed A LOT of his parenting style in accordance to conversations we've had, suggestions I've made, and even by following my example-- and THANKED ME FOR IT. *gasp* I know, shocking. I just think he doesn't HAVE them enough to make a big difference in their behavior, and even if he gets 50/50 like he wants, he won't be getting them much more than he does now. Meanwhile, he and the ex couldn't coparent if their lives depended on it.

As for my kids, yes; he is far more critical of them than he is of his own. He even once said that they were a bad influence on his. HAHA. He can find the ONE thing one of my kids does wrong, and turn a blind eye to one of his doing TEN things wrong, ten times WORSE, in half the amount of time. Blum 3 Oh, well! I'm secure enough in my ability as a parent that I don't really give a rat's ass anymore... let's just watch the show and see who comes out on top.

P.S. Sorry for hijacking your blog, Poison Ivy. Biggrin

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 2:57pm

"chores and cps"

Seem to go hand in hand when there are free ranged skids and psycho PASinator BMs involved.

Ain't it the damned truth!!

smileygirl's picture

Submitted by smileygirl on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 3:01pm

:? I wouldn't know DH believes that it's unfair to give them any chores because...for instance

Dishes - They didn't dirty all those. (Neither did I but I still have to clean them all)
Feed Dogs - They aren't their dogs
Clean their Rooms - They just don't have enough time

You get it. At this point, I would so rather deal with CPS than have to smell their dirty rooms anymore. Smile

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 3:43pm

Oh believe me, I had all that too, the stinky smell of Prince Hygiene's Piss wafting out of "his" room. All three were total slobs. It was only after about 5 1/2 years that a light dawned on GG.

He somehow remembered that he wouldn't have been able to get away with all this when HE was a child and started instituting structure. It was at that very moment that the Behemoth started up her CPS scorched earth policy. And things spiraled downward until they PASed out completely (spiraled UPWARD for me Lol )

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 9:33pm

Gimme an excuse, and I'll give you a reason to feel sorry you ever did. HA... dh hates when I go psycho on him and then leaves for hours with the silent treatment. Works like a charm.

CPS- screw em, all the kids need to be beaten into submission. Biggrin JK (never know who's stalking out there!)

Goincrazy40's picture

Submitted by Goincrazy40 on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 3:09pm

DH "I don't want them to spend all of their time here working.". Hello! It takes minutes to make a bed and put a dish away. Give me a break. Spoiled brats!

beyond pissed-off's picture

Submitted by beyond pissed-off on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 3:52pm

Share that! My 3 step-golden children are here for the week. My house looks like a war zone - if wars were fought with candy wrappers, soda bottles and dirty dishes!

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 4:04pm

*shudder* you are giving me FLASHBACKS on a FRIDAY AFTERNOON!!

ARRGHHHHH!!

Must.Take.30.Minute.Shower
Must.Take.30.Minute.Shower
Can't.Get.Clean
Can't.Get.Clean

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 3:34pm

I hate it when SD says she wants to go to Grandmas and spend the night, and DH tries to talk her out of it. Like he needs to express to SD how much he wants her there just to make himself feel better when she actually does go to Grandmas. Give me a break!! Just another aspect of the guilty daddy syndrome.