I am 43 years old and a mother of four wonderful daughters.  Their ages are 4, 9, 11, and 13.  I didn't have my first until I was 30 and I had my last at 39.

Welcome to Step Talk.

I would advise getting started now instead of waiting. I had a child right after I was finished university, took 2 years off and then powered right back into my career and climbing the corporate ladder. 

I just turned 36, and am married to a wonderful man and very happy with where I am.  We have been trying for the past year and nothing yet, it was super easy for me to get pregnant with my DD when I was younger.  It is NOT necessarily easy to get pregnant after 35 which I have found out, and now I wish we would have got started a couple years sooner.  I have recently taken a step back from my career as the stress makes it even more difficult.

if you are really longing for a child, don’t wait and do it now.  When you get closer to mid 30’s there will be other reasons... “I feel old”, “the kids are so grown now do we really want to go back?”, etc etc. Your career will be interrupted no matter what and 5 years in is a good time to take that break.  I’m 10 years into mine now and it feels like even more to give up. 

I had my one and only child later in life.  There are a lot of advantages such as being more financially secure and potential for free childcare with retired relatives.  The only downside I found is I feel like I'm behind in having history with a partner if you know what I mean.  I was childless through my earlier adult life due to circumstances such as being in abusive relationships that I knew I could not bring a child into.  

I don't have a great career like you but I have a really good job and I'm currently in a dept with a lot of flexibility and I have been with the company long enough that I have tons of PTO hours.  This was the best time of my life to have a child.

I also am a lawyer who met my DH at 29 (20 years ago now, however!!) I was married for 10 years before that to a jerk and had never really wanted kids before meeting my DH. (I also had no time to think about kids during that time, as I was in college part of it, law school and then spent the first 5 years of my practice working like crazy, trying to impress the senior partners, which contributed to the demise of my first marriage, but I don't regret that now, since I should never have married my ex in the first place.) Like you, my current DH and I waited until we were married to start TTC. I suspected it might take up to a year (had no idea, since I'd never been pregnant! lol.) In my typical "type A" fashion, I went on a pre-pregnancy diet 3 months before trying and started charting my basal temp on a chart upon waking each a.m. to try to determine my ovulation cycle and the optimum time to conceive. (Yes, I was THAT anal about it!) We felt sure we knew when my ovulation cycle was, and we knew what date that would make the due date, so we deliberately held off trying in the month of August, knowing my oldest SS's birthday in May would fall around the due date if I got pregnant that month. Instead, we tried the next month, September, and I got pregnant the first time!! My due date was in June, but my DS was born premature a month early, just 4 days after oldest SS's birthday; so much for outsmarting Mother Nature! (Another longgg story of years of birthday party conflict, but I digress!) Anyway, I was 32 when I had my first DS. I felt "older," but I really wasn't.

Fast forward 6 years, and we were trying to decide if we could handle/afford another baby (I desperately wanted another baby with DH) and I found out (surprise!) I was pregnant with a "bonus baby!"  I don't know what kind of law you practice, but my DH and I both are insurance defense lawyers, beholden to the billable hour, and we have no family nearby, so childcare vs. work has been the biggest challenge of my life. (Another story for another day.) I will say being pregnant at 38 vs. 32 was SO much harder on my body! I'm 49 now (gulp!) and so happy to have both my DSs, now 17 and 11, with DH. My DH is 5 years older, so he's 54, and my DH and I have definitely been some of the oldest parents of kids in school with our lil guy, which is sometimes funny. Still, I don't regret a single thing. I'm so happy I didn't have any kids with my ex, especially seeing all the issues my DH has had with his ex and the SKs. And I'm glad we didn't rush getting pregnant. We enjoyed at least a year and a half married before TTC. Had I known I'd get pregnant on the first try, I would have waited even longer.lol. I do wish we had traveled more before having kids, but we really had no extra $ at that time, and we even struggled with whether we could afford our first DS, due to DH's excessive CS, double law school debt and debt from 2 spendthrift exes who we still shake our head and say would have been better suited for each other than the two of us! Now we are both owners at our law firm and can afford to go anywhere in the world, but we can't take the time away from work, even if we had child care. So I hope you will enjoy some time with your guy before having kids, and keep in mind, it may happen sooner than you think! ha ha ha!  

Is there any magic to the 2020 wedding date?  It seems like you've been with your future husband for a few years and you know where you're going together.  If that is longer than you want to wait for a baby, why not move the wedding up?  

My mom is also a lawyer.  She had #1 at 35, #2 (me!) at 38 and #3 at almost 41.  All conceived naturally.  So while the biological clock is ticking, there are many women who have no problem at all conceiving past 35.  My parents had no family close enough to help with child care and theywere slaves to the billable hour and worked a ridiculous amount of them.  It was still all good - I had a great childhood and, while my parents were older than most, they were also more stable, financially and otherwise.  You'll be great!

Congrats on your wedding - not far away! Everyone is different and some people can never conceive no matter what age they are and some people have no problem. I had my son at 37 and might have had another had I not been with a terribly unsuitable man who was NOT hands on at all. I only had trouble conceiving because we were basically in a sexless marriage. Grrr. 

In some ways I wish I could have had a child with my partner - but I was MUCH older when I met him just shy of 47. 

As a disclaimer. I don't have a bio. But I'm not ready for that. For many reasons. DH and I have a LOT to figure out before we take that step (Also I'm s*** terrified of being pregnant... LMAO.... Want his baby eventually... But I have that fear... So that's fun...)

However, if you and DH want a baby. Go for it!!! If you keep waiting, there will ALWAYS be a reason not to have one. Finances, space, etc. etc.... So If you want one, then go for it!!! No sense in waiting!!! You have the 9 months while it's in the oven to finish prepping!!! But the sooner you start the easier it's going to be in the long run!!!