Hello All,

It has been about a month since I posted but things are super great. I was reading some stuff on here and not a lot of positive things going on lately. Well I know I built up to but the Judge did grant the adoption of my SS. I am no longer a Stepmom but an adoptive mom.

It is funny I did not think it would change things much but I feel even more bonded with my kiddo. Honestly I think it made our whole family dynamic just feel more secure.

I know steplife for some is not easy and I know that being around a child that is not yours can have its challenges good and bad. I know there are crazy people out there that make things very hard for people to form healthy loving relationships. Keep hope and keep a very honest open communication with partner. Be sure that you and your partner are on the same page with what you role as a stepparent should be and what are the expectations for both of you when it comes to skids.

I am a stepchild as well. I took my parents example when I met my DH talk about it all before you make that huge commitment. Get on the same page on how to handle the ex and the skids. My parents spent a ton of time talking before we moved in with my stepdad on how to handle me. What my stepdads role would be. My mom chose to make sure that her relationship with him was just as important to her as I was. She made sure he had a say in how I was punished or dealt with considering I was under their roof.

So I took a page from that book and talked about different scenarios with my DH before we made a huge commitment and we were on the same page. I was going to be the mom figure and my husbands equal and I got just as much say as he did when it came to raising his son, (now mine too).

I know me just typing it sound good but I know my parents worked hard at it, I know DH and I worked hard at it too. There were moments when I pushed my parents so close to breaking points and made it difficult on them. But they stayed a united front. I did not have that issue as much as my son was happy to have a mom finally but I faced my own set of challenges. I expected more when it come to respect and manors than my DH and his family did. That was my challenge learning the patience to accept things will not change over night and some things I will not be able to change as I did not raise him for the first 8 years of his life.

Try to keep calm and be patient and really talk with you SO about everything and try really hard to come to a compromise and work together.