LMAO. What good mother wants to give the kids a storm phobia?? I believe most people would have taken a "be calm and don't let the kids ee how worried you are, approach.

I wouldn't have woken them either. Unless it was a tornado warning, I would have let them sleep and just kept an eye on the storm to see if things changed for the worse. THEN I might panic. But would still jsut be like "slumber party in the basement guys!" Why cause mass panic if you don't have to?

I saw your forum topic and thought it was about a dog... or cat.
With them I would expect odd behaviour during a thunderstorm.
With an "adult", not so much...

Your mother in law is a controlling narcissist and by conditioning her kid and grandkids to not only be very afraid but to also be reliant on her in these situations she is not only maintaing control of your SO and her grandkids but also very possibly creating an anxiety disorder for them as well. This MIL is very toxic, narcissistic and abusive. The result is your SO being abusive towards you which is not OK nor acceptable. This situation could've been handled much differently to not only ensure everyone is safe but also not creating a phobia nor being abusive towards you for not seeing things the same way.  A better example of this is letting the kids sleep while watching the storm more closely on the news. If it got closer and became worse (tornado warning) then wake them up and make it a fun slumber party in the basement type of thing. When MIL calls your SO needs to tell his mother thanks for her concern,  I'll call you when it has passed, love you, get off of the phone with her and handle the situation like an adult without her being involved. It is no wonder his kids are now afraid of storms. I do not blame them Your SO is an A$$ for being abusive to you and allowing his mother  to rule his life. He needs to grow up and grow a pair. His mother is a toxic, abusive, controlling narcissist. Trust me I know the type. Been there, done that and got far away from it thankfully. These types of men allow these types of mothers to destroy their lives and relationships slowly without even realizing.

He and his mother make a good couple ,  good at screwing up the kids

Did you read my response in your post "is this being nagging/critical "?

My mom got mildy freaked when we had a tornado warning/sighting. I was stupid and a tween and loved to watch for them. My mom was too scared to come up from the basement to get me. Trust me, if I had seen one coming, I would have been down there. But I slept like a rock and you'd have had to wake me up to let me know there was a tornado.

cMy SS was afraid of trains (there is a story to this part) and thunder storms.

When we moved out of a corporate apartment and into our first home together after we married we rented a duplex with the back fence right on the railroad tracks of a fairly active rail line.   The first thing we did was get SS's outdoor toys in the yard and set him to playing while we unpacked and set up the home.

While SS (then just turned 2yo) was playing in the back yard a train went bye.  The Engineer saw SS playing in the yard, waved and hit his horn which scared the shit out of the Skid. I heard a blood curdling scream and stepped into the back yard to check on SS. He was no where to be seen.  I found him in the corner of the yard, huddled against the house burried under a pile of all of his toys.  For the next several months every time the train would go bye he would just tremble.  I started holding him and the two of us walking outside to the back yard to watch the trains go bye.  

He was also scared shitless of thunder storms.  About a year after the train incident at the Duplex we bought out first home as a family.   When the Texas thunderboomer season started SS would freak out and tremble.  So, I did the same thing with him that I had done with the trains.  I carried him oustide, we sat in the driveway with our backs to the garage and watched the clouds and lightening.  The last time we did that, a cloud to cloud bolt of lightening flashed right over us and a peal of thunder shook the house.  We could feel it in our chests.  That one scared even me.  

I kept us there for a couple of minutes after that and we both were laughing about it.   It took a while for him to calm down about thunderstorms but ultimately it worked and he got over his train and storm fears in fairly short order.

Being an alarmist as a parent does nothing good for kids IMHO.

Girl, please leave already. There’s nothing in this relationship for you. Dude is a pathetic, man-child, enmeshed with his kids AND mom, with an anger problem. You have way more to offer in this relationship than he does. Go find your equal; not an ungrateful charity case. 

I walked away from a similar type of guy recently. So. Much. Freedom. No ungrateful brats ruining the house or the vibe in the house. No more going to 100 different activities to watch how “special and talented” the skids are. And nobody treating me like an evil villian for calling out all of their shitty behavior. I am free and it’s amazing! Get your freedom girl! 

- the storm/tornado and didn’t care about his wife. He simply got his kids and made them hide in the basement and left wife on her own.

so if your house were to burn, you know that darling hubby would let you burn in the house while he solely shouted and got skids out and not make any attempt to alert you

this would be a big relationship deal breaker for me

He and his mother would love my dogs.  Two of them are terrified of thunder.  Nothing works to calm them.  Thundershirt my a$$!  LOL  They woould fit right into the post-apocalyptic scene of terror!