Would you?
Some times I wonder if I could go back in time and decide to not move forward in a serious relationship w a man who shares a child w another woman, would I? I was only 22 at the time.. but our chemistry was so palpable it was a whirlwind first month of dating. Love came quickly and easily. I had no idea what was in my (4yr) future, didn't have online resources for help, certainly had no friends w experiences.
I know a lot of people in these situations get into them later in age bc they go through marriage and then divorce (that wasn't the case for my bf who has his son from a one night stand) but I'd love to know if there are any women who share any similarities.
I'm sure there are tons of possibilities out there but my question is if you could go back and do it over, would you? And I know ultimately we can't, but if there's any woman out there that just toughed it out anyway, yet still suffers silently, please speak up and share any wisdom/advice you may have.
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Do you believe that you made
Do you believe that you made a mistake?
^^^THIS^^^^ well said, well
^^^THIS^^^^ well said, well said!!
5.5 years in and 51
this question is posed A LOT on this forum.
My answer has always been: depends on the day you ask me.
With all the issues Ive had over the years, the issues that are ongoing and that I know we will have in the future, the constant has always been the love I have. But some days, love just isnt enough and I want a restart, a refresh, a redo, I WANT OUT. The answers as to why are in my Blogs if you can stomach them. The anwers are here in this board. The problems we have are all the SAME. So are the solutions. The differences are in how people are going to change things and the willingness to tackle the issues as a united team front, equity life partners.
For me, today, I would stay with DH. We are going quite well currently and we are calmly going through this horrible pandemic lockdoen together. SD13 is with her mother and we miss her, but its for her safety and in her best interest that we temporarily discontinue with the 50/50 visitation schedule for now. Her mother doesnt work at all and we are currently still working (for now).
This becomes a very
This becomes a very complicated answer when you share a child. If it weren't for DD, there are a dozen times that I would have left in the last 6 years. Partly due to DH's actions, but also due to the heartache that my SDs have caused. And honestly there were a few times I should have bailed in the 6 years before DD. These instances were almost entirely due to BM's behavior, which I thought would improve, but little did I know that the kids would eventually just take her place as the cause of my suffering.
Still, I can't bring myself to wish that I had left because of DD6. She is adopted and when I think about where she could have ended up without me/us, I almost cannot bear it. That being said, I always advise younger women who don't have children to very seriously examine their relationships and to get out ASAP if there are any red flags.
Yep. I would do it again in a
Yep. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Though in my marriage it is my bride that was the young one and also the one with a child.
Even with all of that, I would be all in again.
If I could do it all over
If I could do it all over again I would have dated DH but not married or moved in with him. I'm damaged by the drama I experienced living with Killjoy and being Satan's target.
during the week I'd say, yeah
during the week I'd say, yeah I'd do it again.
then his kid comes over or comes up in a conversation, then I think "hell no I wouldn't!"
honestly, I had no business getting into this situation as young as I was. (19)
My bio's, 'our bio's, myself
My bio's, 'our bio's, myself and my dh will never ever forgive or forget what BM and her kids did to all of us. Some things are not forgivable. Its not our job to forgive them anyway.
Thank God my dh took a stand for our family. Enough was enough.
HELL
f'n NO!!!!!!!!!
I should have remained a fairly content single mom and casually dated only.
Ugh...
I'm so afraid I've wasted too much time ... idk if I should share this or not... I really struggle with depression and some of my FH actions lately have caused me to self harm. He has recently just stopped caring about me it seems. He thinks I don't do enough but in my perspective I do even more than most FW should be expected to do. I really feel unhappy but don't have many friends or family to lean on or turn to. I feel trapped and don't know what to do after these four years.