I'm a teacher. SD10 struggles immensely with school. She also is not motivated, has ADHD (unmedicated due to BM) and has very poor grades. BM refuses to take SD to tutoring. The list goes on. I used to be the ONLY one checking to see if assignments are complete, checking on her progress/report cards, etc. You know what? NOT our job. We can't care more than the bios or the SKs. They are not our problem to fix. We also can't instill the same values for education if their BMs counter it. 

Like I said, it's definitely hard to watch, but SKs education is not our responsibility. Try to focus on the things you CAN control and DO have influence over. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy. 

WHO CARES?? Aren't you planning on leaving this sh*tshow?

If crappy performance is choice related it should be met with zero tolerance and a state of abject misery until it is learned that choices that impact performance are painful and performance improves to align with capability.  Tender consideration for their fee fees and self esteme is counter to the goal.

If crappy performance is capability related, then the kid needs support, guidance, and close management by diligent parents to provide them with the resources required to meet requirements and perform to their highest level of capability even if that remains at a meets requirements level.

As an organizational and asset performance optimization and change subject matter expert the universal performance factor that drives success or any improvment effort is an effective behavioral compliance based performance monitoring system.  The standards of performance are identified, the behaviors that deliver performance are established, and enforced.  People are trained and given support to get them to the level of performance where they meet requirements.  Kids doing school work is no different.  Some can only get to the meets requrements performance level, others can perform at top level with little to no effort. Yet others fall somewhere in between.  It is the authority that sets the standards, enforces the standards, and builds the performance plan for each person and provides the support who determins success. Feelings really are irrelevant.  In any effort people and organizations hit their performance stride when the people who execute the work realize that using the systems and tools and doing the work rather than avoiding the work, manipulating the system, or confronting the rules is what drives cussess. Accentuating the positive and celebrating success is a great tool, tolerating or praising failure is suboptimizing for all involved.  No one gets a trophy who does not earn/win the trophy.  Real life does not tolerate failure, nor does it reward mediocrity, and the only ones who get trophies, bonuses, raises, promotions, etc... are the winners. Those who meet requirements get a paycheck. Those who exceed all requirements realize continuous success.  Kids need to understand this early and consistently as they grow up and progress their education.

I worked far harder for any F I ever earned than I ever did for any A I earned.  It takes more work to avoid, ignore,   This was the most powerful point of education I have learned in my own education from K-10, another 10 on through 12.  11 years of undergrad studies across 7 colleges/universities and 6 majors, grad school, a professional license and a professional certification.  There is also the concept of good enough that kids need to learn to recognize.  When the pressure is on, there is a ton of work to do, and insane amounts of homework and studying to get done, understanding the concept of good enough and move on is critical.

IMHO of course.