My DH did not help SS get BM gifts, but I did, on several occasions.  I didn't mind - if he asked and paid for it. 

He also made sure they had money to get her something as they got older.  It was more for the kids than her and I never minded.  When the kids were little I used to wrap the gifts.  Never minded at all..

Nope, but he never discouraged her

If my Skids asked me to help them, I would help them, but they haven't asked and we haven't helped them. I used to ask them if they wanted help in picking out presents for DH and they always told me they were fine...and in six years, they have gotten him two presents total for christmas, birthday, father's day. 

  We did when the kids were little, little... It was the right thing to do. They never asked us to..we just took them to buy something "VERY nice for their mommy". 

When BM got married to her ex boyfriend, it was around that time DH decided to let him take over OR bailout Granny could. 

If I recall, we just stopped buying for bm. I guess she figured it out we were not doing it anymore. 

Oh well.

We made a huge deal over the Holidays as is the Rags' clan tradition.  The SpermClan did not celebrate Christmas.  Their fringe Christian cult does not recognize Christmas. For a number of years when SS was young they would grouse at him during the Winter visitation that Christmas does not exist, it is wrong, etc... This was confusing to him as his REAL family enjoyed all of the special time together celebrating.

Then all of a sudden... POOF... Christmas was a SpermClan thing.  They stood their ground with SS on the topic when he was young but as his idiot SpermDonor added increasingly more OOWL spawn by multiple baby mamas it quit being a point of contention and suddenly they were all in.  Though not in any way visible outside of their home and though the kids were badgered into never speaking of it outside of the SpermGrandParent's home so they would not get in a world of shit with the cult leaders.  This whole thing made SS very angry as for a number of years they denied him the SpermClan Christmas experience then launched it after he was approaching the double digits while the three younger Spermidiot spawned half sibs got to have those experiences as young kids.  He still will bring this up upon occassion.   It really offended his sense of equity  and fairness I think.

So, no gifts for the SpermClan. And SS never asked to do it.  They would have blown a gasket on SS if he had asked to do something for his mom. That was our job, his and mine.  We always did a special effort so he could appreciate his mom with gifts, crafts, etc... during Christmas.

Obviously there are blended family situations where it happens and works fine.  I applaud the people in those enlightened blended family worlds.

As a man, husband, father (Step then adoptive) Christmas is not about me. I buy what I want throughout the year. Christmas is about my bride, the kid, and the rest of the family.  Finding just the right thing, putting stuff together, wrapping stuff up (horribly I might highlight) and watching them open and enjoy the stuff I find for them is my most cherished Christmas gift.  Particularly the smiles, laughs, and happy tears.

but I did. DH and I would take them shopping for BMs birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas. We covered the expenses (they were pre-teens). Did this for several years; during some joint counseling with BM (working on trying to co-parent with that woman), I brought up what we did and that she never reciprocated for DH. Therapist thought what we did was awesome and strongly suggested BM do the same. She did it one Christmas then no more. So, we ended the entire mess. DH's kids had adult siblings and a slew of aunts that could take them shopping.

It's annoying.  I spent about $100.00 on each of SO's teenagers.  SO is broke, but still gave them money to get their worthless father something for Christmas.  I, of course, got nothing, not even a card.  I suspect she thinks I should be happy they said "thank you" and "Merry Christmas."

My advice:  get used to being disregarded, while at the same time your partner is bankrolling presents for their ex.

My husband never helped or encouraged a gift for BM.  SS never asked either.

Cheating whore, abusive neglecting narcissistic hcgubm trying to play poor wittle me innocent victim and horrible ex hubby dumping her by divorce, any relationship care or concern for bio mum ended.

the 3 skids are now sd18, ss24.5, sd27, they're perfectly capable of figuring out gifts for their mum. They don't get gifts for hubby or even a happy birthday so why should he care about bio mum.

in our household, only hubby, me and our 2 kids together care about one another's birthday

Before BM remarried, we always made sure the kids (who were young) had something for BM, either homemade or store bought.  Now that she's married, we figure her husband can help them, although if they ask we'll help.  BM has never helped the girls get something for DH (I usually do that), but she does help them get presents for their half-sister (my DD).

No, even when we lived in the same town skid asked BMs parents or siblings to help. Never asked or offered. We don't like any "overlap" with BMs household.

Bm sometimes would help young SD get a card, but that stopped quickly. Nothing for BM Toxic Troll. I would sometimes help Younger SD get gifts for dad.

This year, shes 15 1/2, shes on her own. She bought us BOTH Christmas gifts!! I see hope on the horizon!