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Weird Similarities

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 7:00am

I couldn't sleep last night, and i ended up going down a Reddit rabbit hole. Ended up on a forum where the advice ranged from "Don't do it! You'll regret it, ask me how i know!" to "It can work if you are mature, know your boundaries, communicate well, and don't have a lot of insecurity and jealousy."

Sounds familiar, but the forum was actually advice between members of the Marine Corps about marrying a stripper or sex worker. The similarities between the advice on there and the advice given to stepparents weirded me out. What does it all mean?! 

Comments

AlmostGone834's picture

Submitted by AlmostGone834 on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 7:11am

1. Both are dumb choices that have a high likelihood of not working out

2. Both mean a life that is filled with drama 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 7:13am

I suppose the similarities between strippers/sex workers and Disney Dads (and Mums) are that they test your boundaries, put you in situations in which you are not comfortable, and ask you to put up with things you don't want to put up with? Unlike a "normal" relationship where ALL the rules and norms can be negotiated between a couple, there are certain things already in place which most of us would find tricky, but which we are expected to accept without question, such as rude and toxic SKIDs/BMs who have a hold over our partners, which often seems much greater than ours.  This last bit is what has caused my marriage to nearly founder more than once. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 7:18am

The common theme being "How to eat a sh!t sandwich without throwing up." 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 7:30am

My dad always said that in relationships, men want sex and women want security. It's an oversimplification but pretty true as far as what's valued most. The sex is self-explanatory but i think women do want security. Not always just the financial security they needed in the past, but emotional security. The feeling that they and their spouse/SO are each other's "person." 

Being with a sex worker, men have other guys who have a prior claim on what they feel should be "theirs", as the spouse or SO. Being with a guy or gal with kids and an ex who are regularly present definitely threatens a feeling of security. Physical, emotional, and financial.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 7:17am

Similarities.. both cases have red flags.  both cases involve partners that have some obligation to another party that is not 100% in line with starting a "new nuclear family"..  both cases have outside forces people. (exes and johns) that have impact on the current relationship dynamic.

and both are "you knew what you were geting into"

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Fri, 08/23/2024 - 9:38am

I could see the similarities 

In adult industry work (for this example a female exotic dancer) the partner has to deal with other men lurking in the background on a regular basis needing time/attention/etc from his partner while she's at work

in step life (for this example a woman) has to deal with her partner's exwife lurking in the background on a regular basis. (Whether it's his parenting time or not he's always "on call"/"At work")

Most often Disneyland dads are coming with demanding needy clingy not ready to let go nut job with one or more offspring she raises to be just as lazy and unstable as herself. In addition to the time/attention/etc going out to another woman and her kids......there is also money going out of our household into another woman's household 

IMO I'd rather be with a partner in adult industry because at least they have the option to leave that job/industry, at least it's just a job with set hours they can choose, and they're bringing money INTO the household.