I've blogged before about SO and BM2's enmeshment when we first started dating 7 years ago. BM2 coming and going from his house, cooking meals in it, and the constant communication, mostly about what she wanted the schedule to be that day. 

Yesterday evening i was outside and BM2 drove by my house very slowly. SS20 was in the front seat and they just crept by.

A few weeks ago my SO told me his family was having Thanksgiving on Saturday the 23rd. He said he didn't want to go, though, because his mother would still be visiting family out of the country. His brother and his wife are best friends with his BM2 and really screwed him over by feeding her information on her last ex-parte attempt. So he said he wasn't going.

I couldn't sleep last night, and i ended up going down a Reddit rabbit hole. Ended up on a forum where the advice ranged from "Don't do it! You'll regret it, ask me how i know!" to "It can work if you are mature, know your boundaries, communicate well, and don't have a lot of insecurity and jealousy."

Sounds familiar, but the forum was actually advice between members of the Marine Corps about marrying a stripper or sex worker. The similarities between the advice on there and the advice given to stepparents weirded me out. What does it all mean?!