I decided about a month maybe two ago to stop griping and do something about my situation. I cried. I talked to God. I knew this was all ME. DH has a new job works all the time. Its almost being a single mom. But its a single mom with 2 bs and a sd15. and that is better than having DH there to enable her. I decided to give this my all. Put forth every effort I could to make this relationship work. I knew that meant getting a grip on my temper. Let things go. I have been doing excellent. and I have actually been feeling better about the whole situation. When SD decides to throw fits. I tell her to breath in her nose and out her mouth and I demonstrate it. I demonstrate it and say it untill she actually does it. It causes her to have to stop the fit. Its been working. It takes a while but it helps me to calm down too. and I think its good for the boys to see when they are angry to take those breaths bs5 has started to do it as well when he is angry.

So we can't do the whole busting the butt thing becasue well she turns 15 in 3 days. shes a tid bit old. I refuse to ground her right now becuase she uses that as a clutch that we wont let her do anything or she blames me for not being apart from the family. She has decided the past two weeks she isn't going to do anything she is supposed to. DH was going to make her run after he got home from work yesterday. Well she mouthed off...she told him that she didn't have to. that she would do when hes not there. They came in the house she was screaming and bawling he went to get the paddle. well i put my hand on his and said the number one rule is to not spank when your pissed. well he was beyond pissed. so i said tap out i can get her to calm down then we can discipline. So i put my hands on her head and said okay lets do this. in through your nose out through your mouth. i said it 5 times i pulled my hands off sat on the bed in front of her. put my hand on hers... she started hitting me. i said stop...dh was in there put her ass on the ground where she could not hit. she was screaming 3 year old was screaming. i grabbed my phone dh yelled what are you doing. i said calling the police. he was shaking his head no. their was her screaming my three year old screaming. I yelled if it doesn't stop NOW IM CALLING THE POLICE SD. she instantly stopped. i told him to get off her. told dh to come on. we walked out of the room and picked up 3 year old. he says to me "don't be mean to sissy"
i took him gave him some ice cream and told dh to take her outside. They eventually had to come in becuase there were tornadoes heading our way.

This morning I sat down with sd and dh. I said neither one of you want to hear what im about to say. SD you are no longer allowed to live here. I looked at Dh and said I know you will not be able to find her a place to stay right away. and im sorry. but a couple months ago I said she was never going to lay her hands on me again and I meant it. She broke her end of the bargain. I can't help that. If that means we need to take a seperation for a while to get things figured out then we need to do so. Im not willing to let myself be treated like that and Im not willing to be the bad guy to my sons and im not willing to do this anymore.

It hurts... I feel let down. I also feel a relief. I just hope my dh has taken me seriously. I mean it.