Yeah, done retrieving things
For SD11.
Last night DP stomps in with SDs all a-twitter about SD11.
Apparently he and she got into it at a ferry terminal building (we live on an island and rely on the ferry); she refused to carry her own smallish lunch bag to the car. DPs hands were full and she only had her backpack on (and hands free).
...I warned him last year about this very scenario since he coddled them by carrying all their bags all the time....but you know, I don't say anything about this...
So the result is they left the lunch bag at the ferry terminal. I told DP, "Good. She made the decision didn't she?" DP then asks her if she has a back-up lunch bag (because all of a sudden it's an issue?) - SD11 affirms yes, "....somewhere..." (what she doesn't know it's in her bedroom full of rotten food she left in it last week...ha!)
Then, "My (transit) pass is in there too." Me, "SD11...!" I was about to say something about WHY was it not in your BACKPACK where it should be...but I stopped myself and sighed instead. DP gets in another twitter about how she's going to get it. I said, "She can get her bag back the next time she goes to the terminal, Friday afternoon." DP, "But she needs the pass." Me, "When? She won't use the pass until Friday afternoon - she's on the school bus otherwise." Then I shut up again.
This morning, DP says, "Don't forget to pick up SD11s bag."
Me, "What?! Um, no."
DP, "blah blah...you said you'd do it last night."
Me, "No, I said SD11 can do it herself."
DP, "But now I have to (do this do that do this other thing) to get it!"
Me - thinking - WHY are YOU doing it? Drive her to the lot and make her go get it (it's a long walk from lot to building where her bag is, IMHO = perfect).
DP goes on and on and on.
Me, "Fine, I'll do it becaus the transit pass is in it (worth $$). But NEVER WILL I DO THIS AGAIN."
DP, "You are being too harsh, it wasn't her fault."
Me, mouth drops open, "I think YOU are not understanding that this is ENTIRELY HER FAULT and that is the ultimate problem."
Silence and I walk away after nicely saying goodbye.
I got the bag. I took it to work with me where it will remain for the forseeable future. No one is seeing it for a long time. Unless I get an apology and/or a thank you. I will return the pass but that's it. If the pass wasn't so necessary and such a PITA to get another one I would have left it. Next time, I will.
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Comments
I'm guessing she uses the
I'm guessing she uses the pass for going to see her friends and such? Seeing as she takes a bus to school.. That's ridiculous. You shouldn't have to go pick it up. 11 is plenty old enough to take care of your own belongings! If she refused to carry a bag with her pass in it and chose to leave it there, it should be left there until you or DP decide to pick it up at your convenience. She can miss out on getting to and from places until then.
Nope, the pass is for getting
Nope, the pass is for getting to/from BMs.
She actually needs it for a necessary reason. School bus takes her to/from our house or to/from ferry terminal. The ferry takes her off-island to the city to her mom's.
I can't understand how not
I can't understand how not carrying the bad was even option. I understand not WANTING to carry it. But to actually leave it there instead of carrying it herself, is mind boggling. What the hell is wrong with dad???? Why didn't he make her pick the damn thing up or put it in her book bag?????
He needs a foot in his ass for allowing that to play out the way it did.
I don't suppose leaving SD11
I don't suppose leaving SD11 at the terminal is an option? }:)
But seriously, what is wrong with your DH?
I think YOU are not
I think YOU are not understanding that this is ENTIRELY HER FAULT and that is the ultimate problem.
This is the issue.
He cannot, for some reason in his brain, think that "responsibility" is LEARNED and TAUGHT rather than innately understood. So what he's doing is creating a young lady who never has to do anything, and being smart enough to realize this, uses it against her dad (never against me because I call her on it).
I would have TOTALLY left her at the terminal!
And she knows it! She would have been carrying her bag around her neck otherwise if I was there.
Ugh! I remember when chef was
Ugh! I remember when chef was bag boy for his 3 kids they would run out of the grocery getter and leave chef with all their baggage to tote in
After a while I pointed out to him that it is ridiculous that his three huge for their age children don't have to bring in their own bags
Of course at first he thought I was being too harsh but he began to see that he was being used as their butler
It's too bad you can't load up her lunch bag with cat poo or something like that to teach her never to leave her bag unattended or a homeless guy will crap in it
Hmmmmm....interesting
Hmmmmm....interesting idea.
However,the problem with where we live is that things always come back to you. It's small enough that things really don't get stolen.
This bag was just hanging in the lobby and I just told ferry worker who I was and they said, "great!"
I did however, take out the good stuff (some chips, a protein bar) for myself. The containers are mine so I want those. The bag will stay at my workplace.
If this happens again, I will not lift a finger to help.
I always give ONE warning if it's a new situation or instance so everyone knows the bottom line. And I stick to it.
I honestly do not see
I honestly do not see anything wrong with dad carrying the bag, if/when he feels like it.
I did it when my son was a kid and I do it now when I pick up my niece(10) and nephew(8) from school. If I didn't want to or couldn't carry their bags for whatever reason, they wouldn't dream of complaining. They damn sure wouldn't refuse to carry their own crap.
yes, if/when he feels like
yes, if/when he feels like it.
Which was ALL THE TIME. Poor kids have to carry their own bookbags?
A bad thing? They need to be responsible for them, not us.
Yesterday was a prime example.
SD9 is learning to get her own when she was left without me making a lunch for her for three days in a row (lunch bag in backpack left in dad's car = not in kitchen = Cover doesn't make your lunch....which is not good because she loves my lunches).
This also bleeds over into travelling with them. They refuse to help carry/tote their own bags..."it's toooooo heavvvvvyyyyy...I'm toooooo tiiiiirreeeeeedddd..."
See, they become accustomed to the fact that 'someone else' will do it for them so they never learn to be accountable for their own things.
I think he can be willing to
I think he can be willing to carry stuff for them AND make it clear that they have to tote their own crap when he tells them to do so.
The fact that the kid had the BALLS to make a fuss about carrying the bag AND left it there, shows she thinks her dad is a wuss. The fact that he lacks a healthy dose of fear/respect for father is alarming.
Him not forcing her to get the bag, sends a clear message that she is in charge. That he doesn't have the balls to make her do what he tells her to do. Carrying their crap is small potatoes compared to the power he just showered her she has.
YES x 1000!
YES x 1000!
OMG - thrice - a homeless guy
OMG - thrice - a homeless guy crapped in it!!
That is hysterical!!!
Love this!!!! My BS10 missed
Love this!!!! My BS10 missed the bus last week. I made him do a couple extra chores before we headed out,but a little math before school sounds awesome
Love this!!!! My BS10 missed
Love this!!!! My BS10 missed the bus last week. I made him do a couple extra chores before we headed out,but a little math before school sounds awesome
Love this!!!! My BS10 missed
Love this!!!! My BS10 missed the bus last week. I made him do a couple extra chores before we headed out,but a little math before school sounds awesome
This is great! I'm going to
This is great!
I'm going to do this starting next weekend when they are with us again!
I remember having to deliver
I remember having to deliver Dominatrix "forgotten" school bag one time during my doormat days.
Ended up being late for work and everything.
Boy was I pissed. Of course zero appreciation
Never did that again--let Chef do it after that!
Yes I am too soft hearted
Yes I am too soft hearted dammit.
I did end up just leaving her bag at work.
Both DP and SD11 asked me where it was.
No thank you, not a thing.
So it's at work, where it will remain. Until DP picks it up from here.
Did I mention I ride a bike for my commute, so taking an extra thing is a big deal.
He can come get it when he takes SD9 to school next week.