well, this is it, i am finally leaving.
my SO/BF truly went too far this time. we have been going to couple's therapy for a fews months now. in our last session the shrink asks how i am doing. and i say "sad, let down, not sure where this relationship is going" so apparenlty that "really hurt" my BF. (oh boo whoo the truth hurts sometimes). So then he had a melt down last night, woke me up @12am, playing loud music, throwing my clothes on me and following me thru out the apartment. he didnt' hit me, but probably would have if i argued back. obviously he was trying to get me to leave. so i did, but had no where to go. so i hid in the laundry room of our apartment, till i thoguht he went to bed. go back into the apartment (no i do nto have anyone else i could have stayed with at that time of night and had no cell phone), he is calm but still sayign reducilous stuff to me. he had painted over all my paintings, knocked the xmas tree over... yeah fun!
finally he lets me sleep on the couch.
so, now i have to find a place to live, and finances are somewhat of an issue... but i am going to try. i was late to work today cuz i was up half the night, so i am really worried about my job.
and in the end, i am still worried about his 10 year old daughter who is supposed to come to live with him this summer, full time. he has never acted like this towards her, but she is only out at our place a few times a year. what will happen when its full time? i kwno it snto my responsibility, but... it just sucks. we were talking of getting married.. too.
Ew, he sounds like a bipolar.
Ew, he sounds like a bipolar. If you can find a place to stay, go do it. Save yourself from this guy. Why sign up for a lifetime of this?
You are right as much as you
You are right as much as you want to help his little girl it is not your place - nor is it your place to become a verbal punching bag for this guy which you know in the end will turn into a real punching bag and she does not need to see as a little girl that it is okay for her dad to hit his GF - it will show her the wrong kind of love. HE HAS THE PROBLEM not YOU - so as soon as you can get out and move on - if you do this and I am begging you to - someday you will meet someone who is kind and sweet (and hopefully without any children) who will love you the way you should be loved - BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND TAKEN CARE OF AND TREATED WITH RESPECT - many times when women are in an abusive relationship it it because they are so down trodden and feel that they deserve this
NO WOMAN DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS AND NO LITTLE GIRL OR TEENAGE GIRL EVER NEEDS TO SEE THAT THEIR FATHERS ARE ABUSIVE AND THAT IS HOW WOMEN SHOULD BE TREATED BECAUSE IN THE END IF THEY SEE THIS THEN THEY THINK IT IS OKAY FOR THEIR BOYFRIEND OR SPOUSE CAN HIT THEM AND THE CYCLE CONTINUES - YOU NEED TO GET OUT SO THE 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DOES NOT SEE THIS BEHAVIOR AND HOPEFULLY THE CYCLE DOES NOT REPEAT ITSELF WITH HER.
I know you fear for her but she will be okay many times when these men are abusive to the GF's they are okay with their children - and as much are you are worried about her there is nothing you can do to help her - if you can get completely away from him then maybe you can mention something to the BM but if I was you I would get away from him and stay away from all aspects unfortunately this is no longer your business and even though your protective gene is kicking in there is nothing you can do - I am praying for you Sweetie and hoping you get far far far away from him and meet someone who is worthy of you and that you start to realize that you are worthy of being loved and respected. Hugs!!!
thanks guys!! teh funny thing
thanks guys!! teh funny thing is, i have NEVER been with abusive men before. i have always been that strogn chick who stans up for herself to the nth degree. but.. i guess for soem stupid reason i allwoed myself to get in this position...
anyway, i think you are right, i dotn think he would ever hurt his daughter, at elast not physically or verbally. So, onward and upward!
That's funny. I was always
That's funny. I was always strong too. Then I wake up one day and find my self mind-f_cked. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sorry your paintings were ruined because you said something that triggered him in therapy....but at least he didn't harm you. If you stay, his behavior will escalate.
When thinking about his daughter, you have to rely on the grace of God. Even with my own children I cannot protect them 24/7, I had to let go of trying to control it and trust that God would.