Im at my wits end!
This is my first post and its more just to vent and possibly get some much needed advice. Im 26, have been with my husband for 4 1/2 years now and married for 1 1/2. Hes 40 and has 4 kids from a previous marriage. The two older live on their own are 21 and 19 and their a completely different story that i dont feel like going into. His younget daughters are 14 and 12 and both live with us basically full time except for every other weekend. When we first got together the kids were great. We all got along and had alot of fun. Then, as time went on things started to change. Especially with the now 14 year old. She would throw the biggest fits over everything especially when it came to her not getting her way. I remember her throwing herself on the ground in Walmart and having to drag her around by foot because i wouldn't buy her a book. I would have to push and pull her upstairs to go to bed and even had to call her older sister a few times to come over and handle her bc i got threatened to have the cops called on me by their POS mom if i touched them( which she is a completely other story on her own). I was constantly on the phone begging my then boyfriend to come home from work and handle them. But then things would get better and everything would be good. But with every thing good that happens, the bad hits you twice as hard. I left once because she spit and kicked me. I wouldve been gone for good if things hadnt happened with his older son and his probation officer asked me to come back and watch the girls. Then we got married. Even that day sucked bc of his daughter. Since then things have gotten completely out of control. She is manipulate, disrespectful, rude, wantz everything her way right that minute and i swear she is the devils child. I know teenage girls are tough and they're gonna have attitudes and talk bact. But she takes it to an extreme level! She can eveb cry on demand! And my husband is blind to it all! He is constantly making excuses for her, babies her, gives in and constantly and only grounds her wheb i force him to. He "talks" to her but that does no good. I dont even feel comfortable in my own house. If i buy something she automatically thinks she deserves it to. Seeing as how its "her dads money". And if you refuse to buy it for her she will throw a s*** fit. And all my husband doea is give in and buy it. I feel like she is the woman if the house and i am just the slave to cook, clean and do her laundry for her and be at her beckon call. I am done. I seriously hate her. I know thats wrong but i cant help it. She yells at me, her dad, hits her younget sister all the time, yells at her twenty times a day, and makes everyone's life a living hell. All my husband says is "dont worry about it, dont let her get to you, ill take care of it" but then, of course, he never does. How am i not supposed to worry about it? I would love to send her off to boarding school ir send her to live with her pathetic mom, but neither of those will happen. I have reached my limit. I love my husband and my youngest step daughter but i simply cannit do this anymore. What do i do???
I have tried. If i tell my
I have tried. If i tell my husband im done with her and refuse to do anything for her he only gets mad at me and gives me a gulit trip
And she doea her laundry
And she doea her laundry sometimes. But it usually ends in her throwing all the clothes i had washed i to baskets and leaving them for someone else to fold (meaning me). And if you tell her to do it she will b****. She just is a b****. My husband will tell her to do something and she literally tells him no im not doing that so he has the younger one do it instead!
You need some family
You need some family counseling with a counselor who practices the tough love approach. Essentially, there should be a written contract in place with rules, rights, responsibilities all outlined on paper, with loss of privileges when rules are broken. The counselor needs to help your DH see that he is enabling bad behavior. You need help figuring out what to do when she tantrums ( like walking away from her in Walmart). Being 14 is tough and adults who allow kids run amock are doing them no favors. Teens need structure, predictable results, etc. It must be very hard for you given that you are 26 and are forced to handle a teeneager. Go seek help!
You're not alone, I promise
You're not alone, I promise you.
www.ihatemystepson.com
It's pure he'll being a step parent.![Sad](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/sad.gif)
Gosh i wish it was all that
Gosh i wish it was all that easy! Weve done counseling and it never sticks. When i bring up disengaging he gets pissed and threatens to stop paying my car payment and all kinds of other crap. Its a complete mess. As one person said...dysfunctional!
And stupid me read him the
And stupid me read him the comments bc i thought maybe he'd realize that im not the only one going through it and thinking this way! But instead he got mad and went off about how wrong everyone is...grrr...just frustrating...
Tell your hubby to take a
Tell your hubby to take a look at the stories of the adult skids on here. He is making major mistakes, and setting your SD up to be a mess as an adult.
He is welcome to spend some time with my DH's young adult kids. They lie, manipulate, and cannot cope. They are not even allowed in my home, it has gotten so bad. Their mother did not listen to anyone either, and let them do what they wanted. Today, they have no concept of reality. It is almost scary.
I feel for you. Without your DH's support, you are in for a long road.
Anyone ever stopped to wonder
Anyone ever stopped to wonder why a 36 year old man with FOUR kids hooked up with a 22 year old lady?
OP, didn't you ever stop to ask yourself that?? You're only five years older than his oldest child.![Sad](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/sad.gif)
I worked, went to school full
I worked, went to school full time and took care of the kids up until 3 months ago. Now i stay home, take care of the house and the kids and try to help withit his buisness while he works 2 full time jobs. Yes, i do think he treats me like a child. I have told him this repeatedly but he just constantly disagrees. I personally do not see a problem with the age difference...it happens all the time all over the world...but sometimes i feel like the nanny. His ex wife even calls me the nanny instead of by my name. And i have left, he begs promises he'll get things under control but then never does.
he's not a bad guy. He is an extreamly hard worker and a great provider and does help around the house when i need him to. Besides when it comes to his kids hes actually a great partner. When his daughter isnt around everything is amazing. But he just doesnt handle anything with her. He claims he doesn't know how to. He also has admitted he gives in so she'll stop complaining and that hes afraid she will like her mom more. And all this does is cause us to fight which turns into really heated arguments. Hes never psyically abused me and never would and has only called me a b**** once in the past 4 1/2 years. Its realy usually me doing the screaming and flipping out...
^^^^ THIS.....
^^^^ THIS.....
^^^^^ this^^^^^^^ sorry to
^^^^^ this^^^^^^^ sorry to say it but this for sure.
Walk away........ my friend.