I used to complain about how much of the running around my husband did, so he started insisting that BM came and collected SD some more. I found that I hated having BM come to my house even more and eventually we switched it so that my husband does all of the pick ups and drop offs away from our house, which effectively means that he does it all as she often refuses to meet him half way. Yes it is unfair, but I love that my home isn't invaded by BM's presence (even if she just stays on the door step) and wouldn't go back for the world.

I know this isn't useful for you but I would just want to say be careful what you wish for. Perhaps a compromise would be to do the exchanges at a 3rd location half way between the two houses?

If it is your DH's weekend and BM insists on her going to a party or whatnot, then I would say BM can come and pick her up and take her to the party. If she doesn't want to do that, then either your SD doesn't go to said party (or whatever), DH forfeits that weekend, BM and DH agree to meet halfway, or he can pick her up Saturday after the event instead of picking her up Friday. The other alternative is to switch weekends if SD has other plans that are so important.

No matter what, if she has plans on DH's weekend, he is losing time (unless they switch weekends).

You probably won't have luck with the courts on this one. They tend to split the transportation 50/50 or put it on the NCP. Mine actually says my exH has to do all the transportation. I don't follow it and we usually split it but we get along well. I think judges would want to know why you need a change now if it's been that way in the past.

I think the only thing you are going to be able to do is stop the extra trips during your time. Other than that just enjoy that by doing the transportation you will have less contact with BM at your house.

Actually, you are better off because you are in control of you time this way. Imagine, if you had to wait for her to show up...what if she is late? What if she is early? What if her car breaks down and she doesn't show up at all? In all of those scenarios, she is in control of your time...You are put in a position where you Have to wait for her...Even though you can look at it like this isn't fair...it is probably better for you overall.

Think about it...she's late, again..you get ticked because you feel disrespected...you take it out on DH...He can't do anything about it...you two end up in argument because she is in control of the time...It really is much better this way. I know if we had a choice about it, most of us would like to not have to deal with Bm's at all. But, reality is...it was a package deal...and unfortunately, she is part of the package to a certain degree....

Simple. DH stops enabling BM. Bm wants him to do all the driving and he does. He should not done this in the first place.

He picks up and then she picks up. Done. Or she drops off and he drops off. You just do it.

Stick too it. Hubby had to do this. She fought it, but he stuck to his guns and she did her fair share of driving. This was when we were still living near the bitch.