Yes, I'd be upset. If he's paying her more than what is court ordered, she can still take him back to court and none of that extra will count for anything.

Dawn

with the other ladies on this one. Don't pay more than the court order. He needs to tell her, "sorry you feel that you need more money but I am bound by the court order to pay you a certain amount."

Would she accept less because he "felt" it should be less?

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

And have been extremely angry at the BM. A few years back Hubby was laid off and the first thing out of her mouth was "What about child support?" The next question was "What about the medical and dental?" So where are the priorities??? Then, two weeks later, we received a notice of COLA - cost of living raise.

WHOA! :jawdrop:

So, not only did he get kicked (with the layoff) but then he gets kicked again!!! Makes me sick. I'd be telling hubby not to pay more then the court order. Tough nuggies for her if she doesn't like it. Go back to court!

My DH pays more, because he feels he should. I think that it just encouraged entitlement. and This is the same woman who asked him, "Who's going to pay child support if you die?" I understand trying to avoid court and do the right thing, but is just seems that the "gimme" never stops.

We went through the braces. I swear Hubby and I paid the whole thing. Of course in her world where the sky is orange, and the moon black, she paid half. Then, she'd make the appts, and would call all over God's creation looking for everyone else to take SD to the appt. She always had a reasone why she couldn't do it. (because we worked we couldn't do it most of the time) well, then make the appt when you can take her!

Telling her to grow up won't help! Because she WON'T!! LOL, but it might make you feel a little better.

in an unbelieveable way. Can you put a stop payment on the check? I might get blasted for suggesting that but it's your money, too. If it's creating a financial hardship on your family, you need to draw the line somewhere. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume the BM took DH to court in the first place for support. I'd tell him he follows the order until she PAYS to go back to court for more $. Force her hand! Sounds like husband needs to grow a major backbone where his EW and daughter are concerned. I'll pray for you that he gets one, because I beg God mine grows one every waking second of every day that I am breathing.

You can't change the BM but you can kick your DH in the knee or hiney, whichever you see first or get at quicker! }:)

I would be beyond livid. I don't think I could take it.

I am sorry you are going through this, it is so unfair.

I would be upset for sure but not for the same reason I think everyone else would be. The decisions that impact me, should be discussed with me. If my husband arbitrarily started giving the ex more money "just because" I would be very angry at him. It is not his decision alone, that is what the courts are for.

However, my husband has always felt that he should pay the percentage of his income mandated by the state up to the limit if that qualified. I tend to agree. If we are doing well financially and we are not paying the 22% then aren't the kids getting jipped. They are his kids and he should take total responsibility for them.

But, he needs to talk to me about that too. Making major changes that effect me without talking to me about it is grounds for the raving bitch to rear her ugly head.

I get that feeling. I would be hurt, deeply hurt. Anger is the symptom. But why does he make her the priority without considering or talking with you first. I have felt that and I feel it for you right now. Go have a talk.

We have been through this. DH's response is also .. it isn't worth the fight. This came up in one of our counseling sessions.. my response is how much is our marriage worth to you? You rather fight with me and not the ex? He needs to rethink this and realize where it will lead.

Seems like people get stuck in their own head not being able to see what is plain in front of them. I'm sorry your DH, strugglingstepmom , wasn't able to hear you and actually look to see how his behavior could be a problem. My guess is this "little problem" will get under your skin and make you angrier and angrier. It would for me. Remember when ,(was it Daddy'sgurl?? who's DH went fishing and was a text messenging jerk) She showed him our responses and he was quick to apologize. I don't know, it is soo hard to not have support with SK issues etc. But worse when they aren't willing to hear us when we share our hurt, and that they are responsible.