Your soon to be EX does not legally have to pay you a dime for you, your daughter or anything else unless you have a court order stating that your stb EX is legally bound to do so. Sorry. So right now, unless you have an order (even a temp one), you are out of luck unless your stb EX is compassionate enough to monetarily help your daughter.

I would have a nice conversation with your attorney stating that you need some type of temp order stating that your stb EX needs to help provide for his daughter. Let the attorney deal with getting this done in courts.

I don't recommend you throwing bills at your stb EX because he probably knows full well that he doesn't have to pay you a dime right now---thus the reason behind him avoiding your attorney.

Sorry that you are going thru a mess, but honestly kiddo it will only get worse. Fight now to get everything you want in your divorce and custody orders, because it is extremely difficult to get orders changed in your favor later on.

Good Luck!

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

this is a tough situation and your daughter is so young it would best if the two of you could quickly reach an amicable solution in order to make sure she grows up in an environment where her parents aren't fighting. even if that means a little sacrifice on both sides. she is worth it. i would try talking to him and explaining to him how much you are paying and how tough of a financial struggle this is for you and if even in the interim, he coudl start providing you with some type of 'monthly payment' that will be taken into account when the lawyers finally put pen to paper. be fair and work with him on paper what he can afford. at he same time, picking up and dropping a half hour earlier here and there should not be a hill to die on for you. you might face bigger battles down the road and i don't think being a stickler on half hour here and there is a good idea. i know your just trying to send him the message that he needs to buck up, but that's not the best way to do it. it will only create more hard feelings, make you look bad and might actually work against what you are trying to accomplish...an arrangement that works for both of you but the one that will be best for your daughter who needs her mother but will also need her daddy too as she grows up. always try to think of her first. pick your battles wisely my friend and best of luck.

It is very clear that child support is one issue, visitation is another....they stay very separate. Even if a non custodial parent is not providing for the child aside from the fact it is court ordered, you can not withhold visitation from them....period.

I know you are frustrated about the finances, I live that life and have for 10+ yrs. My ex was court ordered to pay support for our 3 kids and I have yet to see more than $600 IN TOTAL for the entire 10 years. He avoids filing income tax and only works contract jobs, moving around frequently....it is registered with the Family Responsibility Office here, that is all I can do. I make very little wages but I have somehow figured out what is necessary to buy and what isn't...they may not have everything they want, but they appreciate what they do have.

I would suggest you work with him to do minor changes with the time schedule for visitation....it will make it easier to deal with him and also will look better on you in court.

Good Luck to you.

get an exparte - or Pendente Lite - hearing for temporary support.

When I went through my divorce, with a newborn to boot, we were told to stick to the schedule. It keeps comformity for the child and both parents. I am guessing you do stuff away from the house at least part of the time your baby is gone. If you stick to the schedule, you can make plans to do stuff and not have to change them to make dad happy. Plus at this tender age, a half an hour is a long time.

Sorry about not getting any support. Get a temporary order so you can get some relief. Keep your daycare reciepts cause those costs are figured into child support.

hasn't already set a hearing for temporary orders.

Personally, I would definitely at least ask your husband for some sort of support. Show him the receipts for the monthly expenses and simply ask him what he thinks would be a fair amount for the time being. Or maybe offer that he pay the daycare or contribute to the diaper and formula stock in your house. Take whatever he's willing to give and work out the amount later in the divorce. (DH did this with BM) Your husband can't possibly think that he can just NOT contribute to her "financially".

I also agree, though, that visitation and financial support do not coincide. His unwillingness to pay or contribute monetarily does not constitute you withholding visitation or not adjusting your schedule reasonably. This opens the doorway for MANY future disagreements....like when you want to switch a visitation when a visiting relative is in town and he says "no" because like you, he thinks you should stick to the schedule 100%.....not even a half hour divergence.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."