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Learning to relax

AtlantaRatio's picture

... well i've been practicing some of the tips i've gotten from this site as well as the advice in the comments and disengaging does seem to work.

There are some things that I'm just letting run off my back:

1) Laundry constantly has to be redone because for some reason, no one likes to move from washer to dryer. So they sit in washer... mildew.. and they have to be rewashed. I use to go in to do my laundry and complain about how washing clothes over 2 and 3 times is a waste of money. NOW... I simply move clothes from washing maching to ontop of the dryer, and proceed to do my laundry. No fussing from me. Of course, there are now 3 piles of damp clothes in the washing room... but not a peep from me.

2) This is a big testing week for all 3 kids. We're fresh off a 10 day break for Spring Break and there are CRCT testing all week. Basically, you must pass the test in order to be promoted. 10 days go bye... no one studies. Now this isn't that unusual from normal days.. but this is a major test. 10 days of watching TV... playing outside. Not one book opened. They all claim they don't have any homework (lies.. i check school website and oh yeah.... ya'll got homework), and somehow.. their mother believes them. But.. i say nothing. (BUT I AM NOT DRIVING ANY ONE TO SUMMER SCHOOL!)

3) I'm no longer picking up behind them, but I do invite my friends over. And wouldn't you know it... now everyone is embarrased! Doesn't bother me. I march friends, family, neighbors right on in. I politely say excuse the mess for all to hear. Turns out this is embarrasing for others to see the house like that... but not embarrasing if no one sees it.

I guess all in all... i'm learning to step back. I keep saying to myself, I'll reinforce what she enforces. And that sure works out eaiser.. but not much is enforce. It's 6:45 PM, Math CRCT's are tomorrow... and they are outside playing. I can all but guarantee one child will be repeating her school year.

Comments

smurfy1smile's picture

Congrats on learning to disengage. I know its hard but it will save your sanity.

Sia's picture

I think it works best when you say to yourself "not my kids, not my kids" over and over and over again...... Wink

everythinghappens4areason's picture

My oh my have you learned quickly....I am impressed!! Smile

Just so you know...the leaving washed clothes in the washing machine is a kid thing I have learned....my own children do it, drives me insane!! I too have learned to take out their smelly mildew clothing and put it on top and continue on with mine. When they go down the next morning and complain and wonder why it is on top of the dryer still wet & stinky, I calmly explain that it was never put in the dryer because THEY forgot all about it. They seem to remember for a bit afterwards, but then they slip back every once in awhile...grrr.

I have to hand it to you for bringing family & friends in the house even though it is a mess.....I havent been able to do that one yet without being embarassed when it is their mess and not mine!! Your are doing a fantastic job.....way to go!

Corie

BabygotBack1988's picture

my BF wants to start giving them presents and things just little things liek football club bare in mind he has 3 and this will cos at least £5 a child a week he make £140 every 2 weeks andour bills are £1000 a month i dont get any think yet he expects to have stuff and his kids to have stuff to !

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you ) Blum 3