You are here

Hi, I am returning with this news

Jojo4124's picture

https://www.oxygen.com/cold-justice/crime-news/cold-justice-leads-to-ale...

 

Yes, Ian Little was my step son at the time I was here on steptalk. You all helped me so much, thankyou!

 

I pray that parents wake up to the damage caused to kids by allowing them to have zero rules even at age 23.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Welcome back, Jojo! How are you? How are your DDs doing? I'm so very glad you got away from that monsterously toxic family.

Jojo4124's picture

Hi there thank you!! Honestly, step talk may have saved my life, surely my sanity!!!

Ty for asking. My oldest is working on her Masters in Social Work (no word of pregnancy yet...they might wait to make me a grannie after she is done with her degree lol)

My youngest is in college, aiming to become a physician's asst.

How are you? 

I just wanted to share my story because if someone thinks their step situation is bad, it probably really is. Parents who infantilize their kids by not enforcing rules, not pushing their kids to be independent adults, accept adult daughters running around the house mostly naked, etc are actually hurting these kids. Even tho my step kid triplets were 23 yo in 2020, their mental capacities were stunted at around age 10.

Parents who do this to their kids, in my humble opinion, are abusive. Although adult children are responsible for their choices, and parents are not to blame for those choices, if kids are raised thinking there are zero moral laws (my husband at that time had incestuous issues with the 23 yo daughter who lived with us), can possibly set these kids up to do what my step son did.

I know that adult kids can come from great homes n still make bad choices. I am just pointing out that by not training kids how to be independent adults can play a role in the kids thinking as adults that they don't have to follow rules.

Hoping it encourages someone!

Stepdrama2020's picture

This was your SS?  Oh my gawd

Were you still with this ex at the time? Is this the same ex that had boundary issues (being polite here)   ;)  with the SD?

Jojo4124's picture

I found Steptalk I think in June of 2020...right when this was going down. In July, Ian moved back in with his mom n came to our house regularly.

After we got back from visiting my dd in AK, and Ian had been staying there to care for the dog while we were gone, we found 2 loaded guns in the house...and fentynol was involved.

But mommy n dadeee just coddled this 23 yo man, n his 2 sisters (triplets) n babied them to their hurt. None of the 3 were independent. Ian had been discharged from the marines, I was told honorably.

Oy...soooo glad I left!!!

Soooo grateful for Steptalk!!!

 

PS I never changed my last name after we married n I am sooo glad!!!

Stepdrama2020's picture

You made it out of stephell.

I did too.

No more dreading visits, feeling sick over the holidays. The constant BS watching a DH with his princess wife daughter...it slowly kills you in many ways.

Keep living the good life hun. So glad you got out safely.

Jojo4124's picture

Glad you got out too! The PEACE is amazing, isnt it?!!

caninelover's picture

Glad you're out of this terrible situation!  Best wishes for a bright future.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

might hve been the murder weapon?  I watched clip from the show.  IT said they interviewed his wife and she said he changed pretty dramatically after that fateful Father's Day.  

And to think they were blaming you for his suicide.  Yikes.  I'm glad you survived that mess.     

Jojo4124's picture

of that possibility! They interviewed his girlfriend at the time...his wife and 2 yo daughter were lived here. No morals. He suicided several hours after his daughter's birthday party :( 

advice.only2's picture

How tragic, I'm glad you saw the writing on the wall pretty quickly and were able to get out of that situation.  If there is one consistent on here with STalk it's that these parents who enable their children never seem to look towards the future and see what all that coddling and enabling can do.  

Jojo4124's picture

you all helped me tremendously during that time! Yep...never any rules, morals, or consequences. Very sad...

reedle2021's picture

Thank you for sharing this with us!  I can't imagine what that must have been like - I'm glad you are living your life now and are happy.

I completely agree with your comments about parents who enforce no boundaries or expectations with their kids or who don't push them to be adults are abusive.  This coddling behavior sets kids of all ages up for failure in life.  This is why I am leaving my current situation:  my STBXH refused, flat out REFUSED, to set any boundaries or expectations with his son who is now 21.  And my STBXH had every excuse for not parenting his son, from "well if I make him mad he'll leave" to "well he's 18 and I can't tell him what to do..."  His son refuses to launch, work, help out around the house and has lately been quietly hostile towards me (glaring at me, locking the back door when he knows I'm coming home from work, stepping in between his dad and me when we are talking, lying to his dad that I was abusing his cat, etc).  He set his son up for failure.  Everytime his son would do something irresponsible, he would make excuses and there were never any consequences for his son's bad behavior and choices.  He has babied his son to the point of ruining his son's life and he has set his son up for future issues, possible criminal behavior because his son always gets what he wants, no one tells his manchild NO.  Manchild has no self-restraint or control over himself.  If he wants something, he gets it.  If that means he lies or steals he does it and does it without any remorse.  My stepson acts like a 13 year old and always has.  He hasn't grown, matured or developed emotionally because his daddy won't let him and won't push him to be an adult.  It is sickening.  I am on my way out of this situation.

You are brave and inspiring.  Please take care of yourself and keep us posted on your life.  Your experience in stephell is valuable and will help others on this site.

Jojo4124's picture

And good for you for recognizing toxic as being what it is, and that you can't make a difference when people are driven to baby their adult children. Your stbxh's son won't be able to hold a job with that attitude, so Daddeee has set himself up to support this kid for life. When Daddee dies, I hope he leaves his kid enough money to live on. So tragic but it happens. My aunt did that with my cousin...emotional incest...he is 55 years old and never worked, travelled, etc. And he had been a great student in highschool. He has been crippled by his mommee. She is wealthy and I think he hopes to live off his inheritance. I doubt he will know how to manage it, and may end up on the streets eventually. Mommee did this to him. Yes, he could have made his own choices, but most kids who are given free everything will take it.

 

I hope you have support as you exit. Remember that you owe him nothing!

I gave no warning of my leave plan and I went no contact as soon as I left...I was like well you didn't talk to me or listen or respect me when I was with you, so I know you won't after I left. Please know that life outside of a toxic entity really is peaceful and so freeing!!! You are gonna love it! I hope the best for you! You got this!!!! 

Jojo4124's picture

And good for you for recognizing toxic as being what it is, and that you can't make a difference when people are driven to baby their adult children. Your stbxh's son won't be able to hold a job with that attitude, so Daddeee has set himself up to support this kid for life. When Daddee dies, I hope he leaves his kid enough money to live on. So tragic but it happens. My aunt did that with my cousin...emotional incest...he is 55 years old and never worked, travelled, etc. And he had been a great student in highschool. He has been crippled by his mommee. She is wealthy and I think he hopes to live off his inheritance. I doubt he will know how to manage it, and may end up on the streets eventually. Mommee did this to him. Yes, he could have made his own choices, but most kids who are given free everything will take it.

 

I hope you have support as you exit. Remember that you owe him nothing!

I gave no warning of my leave plan and I went no contact as soon as I left...I was like well you didn't talk to me or listen or respect me when I was with you, so I know you won't after I left. Please know that life outside of a toxic entity really is peaceful and so freeing!!! You are gonna love it! I hope the best for you! You got this!!!!