Upset and need encouragement
Hi All,
I have an 18 year old step-daughter that we've had for the last 2 1/2 years since her mother died. I've done everything I possible could for this girl and she is so ungrateful. She has a half-sister that is 14 years her senior and she lets her sister yell at her, and abuse her and she doesn't care. We refuse to yell at this kid.
Anyway, long story short, she was to be leaving for the army at the end of October and now she's decided that since she's gained weight (due to her now having a car and eating out all the time, which she blames my husband for) she's going to go move up to where her sister lives (4 hours away) and leave from there to go into the army. She's leaving in 2 weeks. She doesn't really want to go that way either but she's not disciplined enough for further education. She's got the mentality of a 14 year old. We've given her freedom and all, and all we asked of her is to keep her bedroom clean. She couldn't do that, so my husband told her then she'll be treated like a tennant and she can pay for all her own stuff. She was upset but is blaming me.
I seem to be the fall guy for all of what's going on and I can't take it. I'm upset and can't talk to this kid and she's blaming me for not getting along with her. I've done everything but spit nickles at her. How do I get over this!
Its easier for her to blame
Its easier for her to blame you rather than think her Dad would discipline her, you will always be the monster so my advice would be stop trying, im in the same position as you, my SD19 hates me, after she lost her mum I tried so hard to reach out to her and all I got was hated more, take a step back do things you enjoy, go out with friends or get a new hobby, let her be independent as I can tell you you will never feel that special to her, I ended up on anti depressants because of my step family it got too much in the end. I feel happier for disengaging its saving my sanity but sometimes SD can still hurt me. Try to concentrate on things that make you happy, you have to train yourself not to think about her or be hurt by her actions, it takes time.
Boy, did I need to hear this
Boy, did I need to hear this from y'all. I am sitting here at work crying like a baby and am trying to pull myself together. I want to run home but she's there, (she only works part-time). So running home is not a good option. Work is slow so it makes it hard for me here because all I have is time to think. She's about to loose her part-time job anyway, they want to fire her cause she keeps messing up things. She works at a fast-food restaurant.
Anyway, guys, I don't know how to thank you all. I really am grateful someone read this and has given me a ray of sunshine. Thanks. I'll keep checking back in. Hugs to you all!
Do NOT every let her push you
Do NOT every let her push you out of your home, by staying away she is winning, honestly try to concentrate on other things a good book or watch a movie, I made my own room in my house with a sofa and TV funny enough my DH and SS used to come in with me and left SD alone in the other room.
I refuse to let her come and
I refuse to let her come and sit and stay in our bedroom although my DH doesn't see anything wrong with it. I finally got him to realize that that is my sanctuary and I don't need her invading my space when I don't want her to.
So if she's got to talk to him, she calls him out to the living room. We're in a small apt. Moved there just for her to have her own bedroom. URRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!