Now that SS15 has been here for the past 2 months and says he is going to live with us, I just don't feel comfortable in my home. I hate it when he is around. I feel like I can't be myself. I find I am locking myself in my bedroom most of the night to stay away from SS15. I REALLY hate it when DH works evenings/nights and I am alone with SS15. I just go in my room and don't come out. I can't stand him. I hate interacting with him. I really tried to like him. I feel like such a horrible person that I have these feelings, but I can't find anything I like about him.

I just wrote DH a long e-mail to get out all my feelings. I sometimes think it easier because I can tell him what I want to say without being interrupted. I will see what he responds. It was a nice e-mail (I think). I apoligized for how things have been going lately. And I told him I would try and shut my mouth from now on and let him parent SS15 as he sees fit. It will be tough to do, but I am going to really try. I also let him know I am feeling lonely emotionally, he seems absent, doesn't ever communicate with me, so I hope this helps.

Another annoying weekend because of SS15. So Saturday, SS15 decided he wants to visit grandparents house (because he gets spoiled there and gets whatever he wants and doesn't have to follow rules). Well DH said he would bring him for a visit later. SS15 didn't like that he wanted to go NOW, so he calls his grandparents to "tattle" on DH and asks them to pick him up now and that he is starving and we aren't feeding him at our house.