Cocoa's Blog
i saw this on one of the forums and i thought it was very insightful....
1. A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments. One key signal of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means a student is able to keep commitments even when they’re no longer new, novel, or they don’t feel like it.
2. A mature person is unshaken by flattery or criticism. As people mature, sooner or later they understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or give them a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.
o/t health care vent/question regarding medicaid: i have health insurance but still cannot afford healthcare...
my dh and I have health insurance through his job. I went for x-rays several months ago and I need physical therapy for my back and surgery for my hand. my cost for those x-rays alone was over $600. i'm still paying on them. forget about physical therapy for now, it's going to take me a long time to save the money for that and surgery is even further out. am I correct that someone on Medicaid (who earns less money than I) would not only have their xrays and physical therapy paid for, but would be able to have this surgery without saving their pennies as I am forced to do?
mt dh and i need your help
let me preface this question with a little background that my dh wants to make sure you all know: his ex is a shitty parent, has placed her abusive boyfriend and his kids above her own time and time again. he's beaten her, has drug convictions and has a recent domestic violence that was dropped (i search every so often to see what this "man" in bringing into that household).
- Read more about mt dh and i need your help
- Log in or register to post comments
i feel my dh has 2 ex wives (he still loves one) - i need support! (sorry, long)
2 ex wives...his ex and his mother. there has always been this weird triangle between the 3 of them. dh and his ex have never been good parents and leaned on mil for everything. mil herself has never been a good parent. she is a nurturer (spoiler, always trying to "help", but has 0 actual parenting skills). she's had bad relationships in the past and has no interest in forming adult relationships with other people and is totally dependant on the attention she receives from dh, bm, and skids.
i'm terrified
my 17 yo ss JUST completed a diversion program for posting threatening remarks on facebook (terroristic threats). now, he was picked up friday, taken to jail and has has been in juvie all weekend for assaulting another 17 yo boy (don't know if he's going to be charged with assault or aggravated assault). the boy he assaulted apparently recorded the whole thing and once the judge seen it decided to keep him all weekend. we heard the boy has a fractured eye socket, broken collar bone and cracked ribs. i don't know anything else, he's to be released to night.
- Read more about i'm terrified
- 5 comments
- Log in or register to post comments
revoking form 8832
bm has threatened to revoke her permission for dh to claim youngest ss. Has anyone had this happen to them and pursued it in civil court?
- Read more about revoking form 8832
- 7 comments
- Log in or register to post comments
it's for the children
really, if i hear this again imma gonna scream. if it truly WAS for the children, why the divorce? bm left dh cause she got hot in the pants for another man. was her leaving for the children? nope, it was about HER own needs. how many of these types of divorces exist? i bet ALOT. but, these are the same bm's that ask for favors "for the children", right? can't make dr. appointments? call bd, his kids are sick. can't shuttle kids around? call bd, his kids simply HAVE to have extracurriculars. leaky faucett, toilet? call bd, it's his kids using that toilet. kids need clothes?
- Read more about it's for the children
- 11 comments
- Log in or register to post comments
why do people believe that a child comes first (#1 priority) even when the parent re-marries?
are they just mouthing the words or do they really mean the promises made to the spouse during the ceremony? if they are going to continue putting their children/bm first, why drag an innocent new spouse into this? the new spouse probably believed the promises, and they are blind-sided. yes, the new spouse knew there were children involved, but i'm pretty certain they didn't know that they were going to be put firmly in the back seat with the first family driving and determining the destination and many times being relegated to the role of maid/nanny/doormat/sugar momma.
do we have the right to expect our dhs' to be grateful?
i've been struggling with the resentment i have over my dh's responsibility to his first family. yes, i knew he had child support when i met him, and truthfully it didn't bother me. he was also making pretty good money at the time but lost his construction job about a year after we married and has had to accept a lower-paying position and this is when our financial struggles began.
how do you disengage when you see the trainwreck coming and you KNOW it's going to affect you?
i try to disengage, but find myself worrying how it will affect my life in the future. it's highly likely oldest ss will not graduate high school and his nanna makes sure he wants for nothing (although this has gotten better due to me getting on my dh), has absolutely no structure or rules in his life. i'm pretty sure he's going to end up jobless, looking for handouts and my dh will feel guilty and help him monetarily at a time in his life that he we need to be saving for retirement (he has almost nothing saved and we're heading on 50!).