Must be due to it being NYE. I'm keeping strong and focusing on all the bad things he did that caused me such a lot of pain. It's feeling difficult tonight, sure I will be ok tomorrow. Just being alone I guess.

Got some white Merlot and loud music....

Happy New Year everyone xx

Well I seem to have got into a routine of staying up till 2am ish watching tv collections (re runs) or on line. Then sleeping late and not getting dressed! As I'm off work until 2nd January I don't seem to have any structure at all.

I'm not beating myself up about this though and just relaxing and enjoying being lazy, with no arguments or stress it's actually quite nice. Also I know it's not forever.

Hi, it really helped reading through all the support two years ago....I hope maybe to find that agin, or at least to feel a little stronger by writing things down.....

Last time I wrote on here, my partner was in the process of moving back home after two weeks away at his 'other' house. He made promises to sell his own house, as I had already done. I explained that it made me feel insecure and it didn't feel like he had actually moved in with me, making a full commitment.

We talked last night for the first time but really just ended up arguing. He's not moving back as I've not agreed to that without counselling. I also told him he needs to sell his house as I feel insecure he has a bolt hole to run back to. He's really hurt me, I am thinking every time his kids start a conflict he will go running back to them over and over. At least he tells me he understands how I feel and that I was right about what I have been saying about his two being too needy and causing trouble between us, he sees them differently now he's spent almost two weeks living with them.