frustrated-mom's Blog
The Nutcracker
I keep being reminded of this ridiculous incident with my former skids every time I see or hear anything related to the Nutcracker this time of year. I thought I’d share it with the folks on here since it’s an example of how crazy the battles you face as a stepparent.
Two years ago, a friend of mine’s daughter was performing in small scale production of The Nutcracker and my then-DH and I took my DS(then 12) to see it. DS was okay for about 20 minutes then got bored but overall it was a pleasant evening.
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Bioparents who can’t stand their kids
I saw another post related to this, and I didn’t want to hijack that thread, but I did want to comment.
Everyone thinks that parents love their kids unconditionally but it’s certainly not true and the sooner people admit that, the better. Not all bioparents have blinders and believe their kids are perfect. Some kids take so much after one of their bioparents - and if the other parent has decided they can’t stand that person and they can’t live together - then what does that say about the kid who’s just like them?
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Stepparenting F'd Up Kids
A coworker of mine got married in August to a man with 2 daughters (6 and 9). This is her first marriage and she is very idealistic about being a stepmom. I’ve given her advice, told her to read Stepmonster and about disengaging. But she completely shrugged off my suggestions and says she loves being a stepmom and her SDs adore her. I resisted the urge to laugh.
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Ha! Ha!
It’s not quite the last laugh, but I’m totally enjoying some schadenfreude with my coffee this morning.
I’m getting a divorce after xH left to go be Super Daddy. Now I heard through the grapevine that his master plan of getting his daughter (former SD16) to live with him hasn’t worked. He’s going to let her live this school year with her older half-sister, which is all she ever wanted.
If he’d only let her to that 2 years ago, my marriage might not be over.
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Skids from Non-Committed Relationships & One Night Stands
I keep seeing the trend that the major problem skids are the ones from these types of relationships not divorce. They weren’t born into a two parent home which means they’re completely messed up from the start. It’s the skids who poop all over themselves, lie, cheat, steal, do drugs and ruin stepfamilies.
But it is not the normal skid problems of being upset over their parents divorce. There was no intact family. Their parents never lived together. They don’t even know what an intact family is.
The Source of Conflict
People always think that the main source of conflict over resources with stepfamilies is financial- that resources (money) is being diverted from supporting one family to another. But in reality, it’s time. Time is more precious than money.
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Why Does Being a Self-Centered Brat Get Rewarded?
It really does seem like society doesn’t want stepfamilies or work or to recognize and promote stepfamilies being successful. I guess it’s not as popular or compelling as the single mom sacrificing everything to raise their kids alone.
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“D"H Said He’s Moving Closer to His Sons With Or Without Me (foul language warning)
I guess things are over. There‘s no way I‘m moving and no way I’m going to live with SD if H has absolutely no concern over my feelings. No way I live in a home where I will have no say over anything with his brats and he goes behind my back and does exactly what I told him I wouldn’t do then acts like it's my fault our marriage is over.
Just Get Over It Already
Seriously, SD15 has the most serious case of butthurt ever. She will never get over anything. She will never suck up anything and just move on. She has be the constantly victim and remind everyone of everything bad that has ever happened to her and make DH feel every guiltier over what he did or didn't do when she was little.
It's been nearly 10 years since BM lost custody but SD will never let anyone forget. She's been constantly in therapy and she will be in therapy for the rest of her life.
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According to DH: Kids >>> Marriage If You’re an Only Parent
DH is pissed off about me not going along with his plans to become the world’s greatest Disney Superdaddy.
He had the gall last night to completely dismiss me being upset about him putting me and our marriage as his lowest priority because, according him, the kids have to come first if you’re the only parent (SD’s BM is completely out of the picture). To him, wedding vows and commitments mean nothing and need to be dropped immediately if they interfere with the happiness of your illegitimate teenage brat.