We have 50% custody of my SS13 (newly 13) and SD11, no biokids. I have been in their lives since they were 5 and 3 respectively. I gave up my firm job 2.5 years ago to stay at home with my kids - I teach a graduate class twice a week and teach a variety of seminars and online classes, but I am the one who picks them up from school, takes care of homework, extracurricular activities, sports and maintains their relationships with friends.

Just a vent. I *cannot stand* the parents and teachers at my SS and SDs school who insist on creating e-mail lists w/only one parent on it, and that parent is always BM.

SD7 (8 soon) has always had periods of depression/sulking. She'll be sweet and fun for months and then go through a maudlin period for several weeks, and then it's back to normal. The older she gets, the more I see her lashing out in anger, mostly at her brother (9) but recently at me. She cannot stand to be corrected, even if done gently, although I will not sugarcoat true behavior issues (and here I have to add the proverbial "like her BM does"). She recently went on a tirade against me because I told her it was bad manners to quit a game as soon as she starts losing.

So I've been soooo supportive--the change to 50% custody (still progressing), the soccer coaching of SS's team, protecting the kids from conflict--just a class a stepmom. Believe me, it's hard. Several emails exchanged today, then DH spent a half hour over at BM's telling the kids they are going to a new school this fall (SS got into a GATE program and both are being switched). It was MY IDEA that the two bios told the two kids together, as a team. I sent him over there! I thought it was best for the kids. I was totally supportive.