NCMilGal's Blog
BM has lost it!
BM has been unemployed since August, and apparently the stress has caused her to come unhinged.
BM and DH have gotten into some nasty fights lately. BM wants to romanticize their time together and reminisce, and DH pulls an asshole move by going along with it (to a certain degree) to see what kind of dirt she'll spill. Their last two conversations ended with BM screaming obscenities at DH and hanging up on him.
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SD14 is in trouble again
And in BIG trouble with DH and I - but she doesn't know it yet.
SD14 can't seem to stay away from the boys who get her in trouble. I kinda blame BM - she's the one who told SD14 she needed a boyfriend. The first boy just wanted to get in her pants and dumped her when she wouldn't, the second boy she got caught sexting - phone and computer were taken away.
Four months later, she gets the computer back. For two days. She was caught talking on FB to the first boy, who BM forbade her to talk to. So, the computer is gone again.
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SD14 is talking to DH about living with us
:jawdrop:
Well, okay, not so much :jawdrop: DH and I have know for years that BM is a nasty piece of work, and we've watched her get progressively nastier as SD14 has started thinking for herself and stopped being a child.
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She finally asked, and he lied - or, BM gears up to take us to court
When BM divorced DH in 2002, she really bent him over the barrel. She took 1/2 of the house, a vehicle, all the furniture, (including heirloom pieces he brought into the marriage) 1/4 of his pre-tax income, he carries SD on his insurance, and he pays for ALL transportation for visitation. (900 miles) Plus, she'd hit him up for money all the time. Not long after, he got promoted, and she tried to go after him for increased CS, but he moved and his income actually dropped, so she couldn't.
Are we Disney Parents?
For a while now, I've been uneasy - I think I'm a Disney SParent!
Signs:
1) We're extremely NCP parents to SD14; deployments and schools + long distance = 16 weeks of visitation in 4 years
2) Half of our visitation is at MIL's house when we're on "vacation" = shopping or other fun stuff every day
3) SD14 has a hero-worship thing going on with me - she thinks I'm super-smart and successful.
4) BM's lifestyle is right at the edge of her income but we live conservatively, so we always have the extra cash to do "fun stuff."
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SD14 can see BM's ignorance (funny)
So, SD14 is in marching band. They're performing this weekend, and one of the songs is Lady Gaga's Poker Face.
Apparently BM has been telling anybody who listens about DH - he's a hardcore Army Ranger who is into death metal, easily angered, intolerant, etc. We've seen evidence of this when SD14 will tell me about things BM has said about us, and insisted that I not tell DH because "Dad might get mad!" or when talking about a future boyfriend being disrespectful - "Dad would get mad and beat him up, huh?"
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Red Alert
Is what DH just IMed me with.
Guess who just joined the ranks of the unemployed?
BM.
Her DH makes $75k/year, they have a $280k house, $20k in furniture on credit, and two car payments.
My heart started pounding - we are sooooo screwed. BM is going to look around and latch onto DH as income. *&^*%%&^%&*!!!!
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Thinking about giving BM more CS
We're crazy, right?
BM really stuck it to DH in 2002, when the CS was assessed. However, she hasn't moved to get it raised since then. Meanwhile, he's been getting 4% raises and longevity raises, and has been promoted twice - his income has doubled. And, he's getting promoted for the final time at the end of next year. That's a big one, his income will go up another $950/month.
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The financial impact of CS
No, not on us, on BM.
With the discussions about children choosing which parent to live with at 12 or 14, I was wondering what would happen to BM if we ever did manage to get custody.
BM doesn't get CS.
BM doesn't get the federal child tax credit.
BM has to pay CS.
Making a couple of ASSumptions about BM's salary based on job type (administrative) and longitivity (been there just over a year) and her DH's salary (known, it's a public salary)...
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"She's just your father's wife!!"
Ah yes, the gems I get to hear from SD14... Apparently, BM has flipped out on SD14 when she called me her stepmom. According to BM, I'm NOTHING to SD14, certainly NOT a mother-figure, I'm just her father's wife. Sounds familiar doesn't it?
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