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Everything is Falling Apart

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Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Thu, 01/07/2021 - 9:53am

My SO has had 50-50 custody on paper for 10 years. When we started dating 2 years ago, both boys, now 10 and 16, were staying at SO’s almost every day, but he was still paying BM $1000/month CS. BM would come over about every other day to visit, cook dinner for all of them (and sometimes SO’s parents), and would take the boys sometimes for a few hours or maybe a night, all at her discretion and without warning. She and SO also talked on the phone and texted multiple times every day, about trivial non-essential things. 

“Court” Fiasco

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Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 2:38pm

Today SO was supposed to have his court date. Yesterday he finds out that it is actually a zoom meeting.

This morning, his lawyer texts him and says "your crazy ex wife fired her lawyer 10 minutes ago and is representing herself." My SO gets upset and says "Well, i better call her then and see what's going on and if we can work something out."

I told him that the person he needs to talk to is his lawyer and not over text, but he was determined to talk to BM about it so he texted her. 

Attend Court or Not?

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Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Thu, 10/08/2020 - 9:07pm

My SO (together 2 years, have separate houses but stay together every night he is not working overnight) is taking his ex-wife to court and their date is next week. He has been paying her CS for a kid who hasn't stayed with her in 5 years and he also wants her to sign a Quadro (a paper that settles his retirement once and for all.) I am off work that day. Should i go with him? Did you guys go to court with your DH/SO for something like this? They have been divorced almost 10 years. He hasn't said anything one way or the other.

Just Realized Friend is a HCBM

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Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Thu, 10/08/2020 - 12:48pm

An old high school friend has been divorced maybe 6 years, and has been on-again/off-again in custody battles for her son. I don't know all the details but i know there has been so much drama at one point she had to have a section of her hair shaved to be tested for drugs (she has been arrested for drugs in the past and i think it was her ex who dropped the dime.)

One step forward, one giant leap backwards

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Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 09/04/2020 - 12:46pm

So my SO and i have been in couples therapy to deal with some of our issues. Boundaries with BM2 have been a huge issue, with her not keeping to the schedule and wanting to come and go, picking the kids up for a few hours here and there every few days instead of caring for them as scheduled. The therapist suggested that instead of him talking dorectly with her, to have a group text that i'm on too.

Little Changes

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Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Thu, 05/21/2020 - 11:14pm

My SO has recently started setting boundaries with the BM of 2 of his kids. They were previously enmeshed, but he stopped letting her come inside his house and he made it so communication is about the kids and only when necessary. He also saw his lawyer about finally separating her from his retirement account and stopping paying CS on the son who is with him all the time. 

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