I didn't like SD12 much before she got a phone but the phone has made her so much worse. Has anyone else noticed a major change when kids get a phone? Maybe some of this is preteen behavior but I've found it seems to revolve around her phone.

She claims her phone is always dead or BM always takes it away but I know that isn't true by just watching her use it. It's clear she spends a lot of time unsupervised watching videos, playing games, and doing social media. 

My husband and I had a friend who recently went through a divorce. The main reason of their divorce was because his wife wanted kids and he didn't. He had always made it pretty clear and this is one of those classic examples of you need to talk about this stuff before you get married and you need to go into a marriage not expecting somebody to change their mind about important issues like this.

Yesterday we had a health scare with our 1-year-old DD, my husband was quite upset because he was the one that had to take her to get blood drawn and it takes five people to get a tube of blood out of a baby. We are awaiting test results for something that might be quite serious. 

It's not like BM or SD12 knew about this but it just so happened that SD had her own health "crisis" which managed to completely overshadow DD. It's always like this no matter what is going on with our lives it all grinds to a halt if anything is going on with SD.

We successfully got the rest of my in laws to stay away this weekend and only have SD12 and SIL. My husband backed me up and agrees we shouldnt really see anyone until COVID is under control, maybe next year. YAY! What helped was buying him a book about emotional blackmail which he has been reading every time he's in the bathroom taking a poop. I'm so proud of him for enforcing this boundary. I hope he keeps it up now that he sees it works.