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Getting frustrated with this country....

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Fri, 03/25/2016 - 3:41am

Myself and oh are stuck in a never ending cycle of renting. Rent costs on average 1400 a month but can be as high as 1600 euro for a three bed house where we are living (nothing spectacular). To buy a house in the area is a minimum of 350000 but really anything decent (again not spectacular) will cost about 400000. You need to have a deposit of 20% of house value in order to get mortgage which is just not possible to save when our rent is so high.

Just when I was starting to feel sorry for ss....

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Sat, 03/12/2016 - 11:04am

So update to last weeks blog. Dinner with my parents went
Surpringly well. Ss had a sulky face on him when dh told
Him to order a pizza. He said on average four words for the whole dinner which all were "fine". My mother asked how are you etc. He has extremely poor social skills though and finds it difficult to talk to people. I have been telling dh for years that dh babying him and only spending time with him at weekends and not encouraging him to make friends was damaging but whatever.

Meal out tonight.....with skid

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 9:56am

I HATE eating out with ss13 and have purposefully
Removed myself from this situation for the past few months.
The exception being my birthday when Ss ordered the most expensive meal off the menu and then ate like an absolute pig. I never ever pay for dinners when we're out with Ss because of his piggery.
My parents are visiting at the moment and they wanted to take us out for a meal. This unfortunately includes Ss as he is always here.

More of a moan really.... Feeling like a single mum

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 03/03/2016 - 5:55am

Just finding things really hard at the moment. Dh is out of the house before 7 am and before ds even wakes and is now working 13-14 hour days. By the time dh is home, ds is bathed and asleep for the night. I know he feels so upset about this and I try to keep baby up as long as possible but more often than not baby is down for the night before he is home and I've eaten my dinner already. Dh is then so tired that he's usually in bed pretty early as he is up before 630am usually.

For those with low self esteem...

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Mon, 02/29/2016 - 6:21am

How did you overcome it (with the exception of the obvious of counselling??). I have always had extreme low self esteem. While in my mid to late 20s, I drank quite excessively and lived a party life to mask these feelings that I had. Then I met dh and gave up that lifestyle which suits me much better (I constantly made bad decisions while drunk). While I have forgiven myself (for the most part for my stupidity) I still struggle with my low self esteem, more so now that I don't mask my feelings with alcohol.

Nothing ever feels like "it's mine" since having baby with dh

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Mon, 02/22/2016 - 4:16am

I should be on cloud 9. I have a beautiful 20 week old baby who was so longed for. Dh is a good man and since I last posted about money has taken what I said on board and bought more things for baby.

But since I've had baby, all of my feelings regarding dh seem to have turned mainly to anger. I feel angry at him ALL OF THE TIME. I can't understand this because we've been together 5 years so I knew his baggage. I'm just so fed up about a number of things. I'm just going to type them down here to get some of my thoughts out.

Feel like my marriage is in a dangerous place

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Sun, 01/17/2016 - 12:38pm

I am just tired. That sums me up right now, mentally and physically exhausted. Of course that goes with the territory of having a 15 week old baby. However, he is the easy part of my life. The exhausting part of my life is dh and his baggage, all resulting from the poor choices he made years ago.

Awful birthday

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Submitted by Starryeyed on Mon, 01/11/2016 - 9:44am

Yesterday was my 31st birthday and turned out to be just an awful day. It started off at 1158pm on Saturday night. Myself and hubby have a tradition that we stay up and wish the other happy birthday at the stroke of midnight. We have done this for 5 years and even tang each other at this time when living Long distance. At 1158 this year, my hubby literally handed me our baby said goodnight and turned over to go to sleep. By 12 he was snoring loudly.

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