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Think I Saw a Pink Pig Fly Past My Window Last Week

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Chef has stopped drinking beer and hard liquor for awhile when he (and others) noticed he was getting "chubby." He actually has a full barreled beer belly that hangs over his waistline at age 46. I've also put on weight (mostly due to menopause and stress that I haven't actively done very much to reverse--which is completely necessary to "keep up.)

He has a small glass of wine like I do in the evenings. In fact he left most of it in the glass last night. He also admitted last week that "I know I'm not the EASIEST man in the world to live with. . ."

Chef Quits His Job Just Before the "Final" Downward Mod Hearing Coming up on Monday!

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Yep, what a dolt. Of course he has been pressuring me to marry him (justice of the peace wedding) so that he can get on my health insurance.

News Flash for Chef: Get your OWN DAMN INSURANCE! Take this opportunity to find a job with a LARGER COMPANY and get some insurance of your own. Chef tends to like smaller companies because he can "shine" amongst the others and basically call the shots. Smaller companies also tend to have that "family feel" (TM) :barf: that Chef is sooooo fond of. And they are also more loosey goosey with their policies so that Chef can take liberties.

SM "Merit Badge" How Many of You Have Had Ye Olde Phoney CPS Charges By The BM/Skids?

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And if so, was that the last straw for you?

Was it the last straw for your DH as well or did he go right back to "camel" mode?

In my case the Skids and the BM were complicit in the fake-o CPS charges. Dominatrix, at the time eight years old, claimed that Chef "split her lip" read: permanently chapped lips due to biting her nails like the BM does.

"Inappropriate work duties" (had all three skids pick up twigs for 20 minutes in the back yard)

"Inappropriate punishment" Chef put Dominatrix in time out and scolded her for kicking Prince Hygiene in the face.

Dominatrix Makes a Breakup Video on FB to break up with her BF!

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WOW This guy lucked out!

The video is of her and her BFF chomping away at pizza with Beyonce playing in the background. Both are talking while their mouths are full and spewing crumbs. Dominatrix is dissing her BF (aged 20) calling him "old" and "stone aged" and "not funny." Her BFF says "I never liked you" and "I bit your finger really hard--I bet that hurt." Then Dominatrix licks the pizza laden fingers of her BFF. "Truth is former BF, I can't STAND you" Cackling ensues.

Chef Got To Relive his Guilty Daddy Days!

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With the kid next door. This boy is about 10 years old and totally an infantilized EMO who screams at the top of his lungs just to hear the sound of his own voice and is never told to cut it out. His mother is very permissive and views him as her "best friend." Dad is a bit overbearing but loving. I think they stay together for the sake of the kid, to tell you the truth.

Chef's EX-MIL's (Battleaxe Galactica) EX HUSBAND Stopped by For a Visit!

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Haven't seen this guy, I'll call "Elmer" in YEARS! Not since I was attending the skid's phone-it-in sporting events. Seems like everyone that marries into the Girhippo's clan comes down with a case of Stockholm Syndrome. "Elmer," who was Battleaxe's 2nd husband, followed Battleaxe Galactica around for YEARS after getting divorced--they have no children together. Same thing with Battleaxe's 1st husband--Girhippo's biodad--his ex-wife the eevill SM still tries to be friends with the Girhippo clan!

Our Bios Aren't Perfect

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Yep I know a lot of us SMs may sound like our bios are perfect in comparison to our skids. And for the most part that is pretty accurate as it's all in the parenting.

I will admit my grown DD and her husband frustrated me recently. They moved to Southern PA. Their original house is an hour away from me here in NY. They COMPLETELY underestimated the size and quantity of moving vans leaving a LOT of stuff back at the old house.

Dominatrix (SD16) Has a TUMMY ACHE and Cannot Go To School

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What a surprise. Extend the MLK holiday another day. Probably a few quizzes due today as well. Hasn't done a speck of homework all January either. Lots of ZEROES all around.

She's failing all her core subjects and making Cs in the fru fru classes.

But she's on FB wailing and moaning about her plight.

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