Toaster's Blog
MIL vs BM (OSD in the Background)
Sometimes, when I have a calm moment, I wonder how the skids are doing with their lives.
Maybe it's because I want to confirm what I predicted years ago, during the early years of my marriage, when I first noticed them displaying some pretty unsettling behaviors.
While browsing OSD’s social media, I saw her standing on a street corner at night wearing what I could only describe as a ‘Lady of the Evening’ outfit. I had a choice to make: should I let DH know about OSD’s new post, or should I simply ignore it?
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Five Fears of the Cult Members of the 1st Failed Family
Morningmia recently wrote a powerful post about kindness—specifically, the selfishless and thankless kindness that a stepparent gives to their skids. The kind of kindness that’s poured out endlessly, even when it’s met with nothing but resistance, indifference, or outright hostility.
The responses to her post were like a collective sigh of shared experience—a raw, honest summary of what happens when good people try to extend love and kindness to those who have no intention of reciprocating it, and in fact, wish them nothing but harm.
Need Advice – Gun-ho Granny Chasing her PAS-ed Out SKiD Grandbabies
Need your advice and perspective about this. Am I thinking about this correctly?
Background:
The skids are PASed out—OSD since she was 14, and now at 20, remains completely estranged from her father. YSD, only recently PASed out a few months ago at 17, has also severed contact with DH. Neither daughter communicates with their father, despite the years he spent time, love, and all the care he has given them.
The cycle of DARVO – How to Overcome?
‘ImperfectlyPerfect’ replied to my post on Shunning and shared her experience with her skidmarks’ head games. From her and other stepparents, I’d love to hear more about your experiences with psychological abuse and, most importantly, how you found ways to counter it.
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Shunning – It never ends. Some Relatives are Just Clueless
For those unfamiliar with shunning, it’s a form of social rejection often associated with stories from the past—like Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, where communities ostracized individuals deemed ‘immoral’. Over the past several decades, shunning has evolved into a more subtle but equally damaging practice. It has become a negative art of avoidance, one that can deeply hurt and alienate its target.
This is a cautionary tale to any stepparent and anyone who decides to breed in the future.
This is in response to Lulumay91blog post entitled, When a step child leaves.
BM’s Pyrrhic Victory
In another post, MorningMia wrote: DH eventually began to see his kids for who and what they are and finally accepted that they would never have the relationships he expected. He said in a sarcastic tone (as if, "big deal"), "She (BM) WON!" lol.
A Pyrrhic victory is one that is achieved at a great cost, resulting in significant losses for the victor and making the victory unworthy. Our not-so-beloved Crazy BM has a habit of winning Pyrrhic victories.
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A$$ Beatings and Not Enabling
This blog is in response to Rocky Road's entry, He Will Never Stop
One severe, never before given, A$$ Beating!
That’s what it takes for some of these delusional Daddies-in-Denial to finally wake up and change.
Only A$$ Beatings...
Because they live by this personal, twisted philosophy: if it’s not happening to me, it’s not relevant. So, they bury their heads in the sand, refusing to deal with the reality right in front of them, pretending it doesn’t exist until it’s too late. You might ask me; how do I know?
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SD16, Our Paid Hired Help!
Life is good, at least for now. But that's just until the inevitable next wave of drama hits.
A decade ago, I wasn't aware that my partner and I had vastly different ideas about how to raise children. Although I don't have kids, I strongly believe in the importance of assigning them chores if I do.
Why?
Because chores are more than just tasks, they're a vital learning tool for time management. Children learn to navigate their day, balancing several functions within a limited time frame.
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