The visit to see SS was great. When I told my husband Friday night I was going to see SS on Saturday alone, he cried. He actually cried. My husband never cries and seeing him so sad made me very upset. I felt terrble for the first few hours because my husband was really hurt. He told me to go and have fun but he was sad SS told me to come alone. But the actual visit was great. SS picked up from the subway station. I was going to stay one night, which I never did before. I spent the whole evening of the first day with Sarah and just tried to spend as much time as possible with her.

SS made ribs which were amazing! He bought a few cookbooks and he's actually gotten very good at cooking. I was very proud. But I am a bit concerened. I want him to go to counseling to deal with everything his mother has done. No one can possibly deal with a mother like that on their own. I briefly approached the idea of counseling but he stopped me. I did not push it further. On Sunday SS took me to Times square because I aklways wanted to see it. I also got to see Rockefeller Center. I felt guilty the whole time because my husband was not there. Hopefully we can do it all again with my husband next time.

I was going home on Sunday evening. Two hours before I was going to leave, SS talked to me about his will. He is getting one drawn up. His daughter gets everything after he dies (God forbid). But if he dies before she turns 18, he wants all of his assests to be in a trust for her. He also has a life insurance policy and again, unless Sarah is 18, it is kept as a trust fund. He taked about guardianship. He said we were the only ones he knew so he asked if we would be her guardians in case he dies. He second option is a aunt from his mother's side who lives in Houston. He likes her and she is not crazy like the rest of them. I told him that of course we'll take care of Sarah. He said we would be given some money every month to look after her.

I was touched he picked us to be Sarah's guardians. Although he does have slim pickings when it comes to family. The whole conversation was very morbid. I told SS how much his dad misses him and loves him. And I told him directly that he needs to llet go of his anger. He did not say anything. But before I left he said "Maybe you guys can come next week." That sounds like an invitation to my husband

After I got home, I did not say much about the trip. I did not want my husband to feel worse. I did tell him about the guardianship situation and he agreed completely. I did tell him about SS asking us to come next week and it made his day. It was a good thing I went. Thank you guys for convincing me to go!