Don't discuss marriage until he has The Talk. He has probably never seen this side of her and it waiting for it to pass over.
However he is obviously clueless to a woman's way to make things got HER way.

So just continue with your life. When your BF brings her up say "Let's not talk about her." and change the subject. If he pushes the conversation say "This is about her not getting her way. She and I should talk this out in counselling. She just needs to make the call. So, what do you want for dinner?"

" I love you and will marry you one day. But not now. No, not even engaged. NOw let's not talk about something that would distress your family so."

He will know exactly what you are talking about and eventually he WILL talk with her. He just has to want you more than her.

The thing is, does he want you more than her?

Mjordan, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. You must get your BF to discuss the issues that she's having because if he's not doing it now, he won't change if/when you get married. Burying his head in the sand and not dealing with it won't make it go away, but it's typical. Is he willing to go to counseling?

I'm sorry you're in counseling for this, but it's her issue, not yours. And what really disturbs me is that with SD's Christian background, she's not living up to the Christian code. She cleary has issues. You have 3 choices here: One, stay w/BF and allow him to turn his head to and not call her out on her foolishness and suffer at the hands of her maliciousness. 2 - Stay w/BF and avoid SD and all family functions entirely. Or 3 - put your foot down and call his bluff by telling him that if he doesn't address her and her issues, it's a done deal. I personally would chose number 3 . . and call his bluff to make him step up to the plate and show me where I really stand.

Finally, this is really your BF's issue and he needs to put things in perspective and decide which warrants his greater concern, his daughter's feelings or yours.

Either way, good luck.

Nope. I have a 54 y.o. father who is a widower from his 2nd wife. His first wife is still alive, but they almost never talk. I'm his only offspring and live half way across the country. He and I have a good but distant-ish relationship. Want his number?

She hates you because she's petty, mean-spirited and her dad loves you and you're a major part of his life. It's as simple as that. It's sad really and she needs to get over it and get a life. Alot of pathetic adult SDs don't want any one else to have a piece of daddy's heart. It's quite common and ridiculous. His daughter has issues, plain and simple. Don't try to figure her out . . you won't be able to. She's lost. The best thing you can do is pray for her and move on. Continue to enjoy your life with your BF and plan your future. Maybe she'll one day get the help she needs. But don't allow her actions to poison your life or your relationship. Don't give her that power and control.

I've been down that road, so I can relate. My SD is 27 and still lives with us. She's getting married next year and I'm so happy that I want to hug her fiance everytime I see him. She and I have had issues from the start. She never came out and said she hated me but her actions indicated such. She also refused to clean up after her self, is selfish, mean-spirited, petty and told DH I didn't like her. After I reminded DH of all the stuff she'd done to me, and asked him if I had a son who pulled the same thing how would he feel? He also keeps his foot in her behind and has had endless talks w/her about her behavior. She's also said and did crummy things to DH. And he recently stated he thinks she has psychological issues.

So after 3 years, we have a civil relationship, but certainly not best friends. I speak and we may chit chat here and there, but that's about it. She's finally starting to act like she has some sense because I think she's fearful of having conflict in her own marriage after causing so much conflict in ours. Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

I am confused that SD considers herself a Christian and yet has no problem treating you this way. Maybe point that out to DH, she is a hypocrite.

If at, 23, she has no life skills, there's been a PATTERN established here. We can probably bet the ranch that mommykins has parented by GUILT and is treating her princess like BFF.

ON THE OTHER HAND, DADDYKINS has had a role in this too. He may have assigned her the role of "mini-wife" when she lived with him.

My Bf recognizes the problem but will not sit down and talk with her.

And there shows the fact that your intended wants to stick his head in the sand and hope it all goes away as he doesn't want to set his daughter straight and start removing the "adult spousal status" that he has given her; probably at a very young age.

So there has been HESITATION on his part to address this matter with FSD. BAD SIGN and RED FLAG!! If you hear anything like "I don't want to LOSE her" then you know that you will ALWAYS, ALWAYS come in last and that SD will quite literally be "the other woman" along with the BM in your relationship.

If you are asking now, that means you have a gut feeling that this is NOT what you had bargained for. Find a nice CHILDLESS man. . .STAT! Otherwise you are in for decades of misery. This ostrich technique by guilty daddy doesn't go away. And SD will most likely outlive you and him.