--Back story in my last post titled Lost-- (forgive me if this post in duplicate. I thought I posted but now don't see it)

Last night my husband and I got into an argument. He very much misses his daughter and I am trying desperately to offer suggestions. I've offered to leave for the weekend to please the BM and so he could see his daughter. I've even gone as far as saying I would understand if we needed to separate just so he could see her.

We argued last night. We were talking about the situation again (because neither him nor I can talk about anything else). He informed me that his night classes start up in a couple of weeks and that I would need to take my SD back to her BM for him. My mouth dropped open. I said 'I can't. I won't.' He got angry and said 'what am I suppose to do? I have class.' In my head I'm screaming, change your god damn class schedule or file a motion to change your weekday visitation. A few words were exchanged that I don't remember. But after a few minutes I got up, went into the kitchen and said 'your ex is accusing me of abusing your child. And you are perfectly fine with leaving me vulnerable and open to more attacks from her. And that is so hurtful.' I walked away to him swearing at me.

These are the moments that I just want to run away. I have had my life turned upside down by his two BM's for the last four years. We've spent thousands of dollars in attorney fees. Spent countless hours obsessing over what to say and what to do next. And now he expects me to be perfectly fine with nothing changing from our normal routine. He fully expects me to go face to face with this woman that has the potential to ruin my future. I'm more than hurt. These are the times when I feel that I am only here to support him and provide for him. That he is only with me so he isn't destitute and hurting for a good life.

When his selfishness comes out I close up, cry, and wonder how I got here and how do I get out.