This stepmother role is shit
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Before I was a stepmother....I was such a great person in the eyes of all my friends, family, husband everything....but since Ive taken on this role....a role I really dont want....I am blamed for everything, hated by everyone, have skids who totally disrespect me, have people trying to alienate me, have people wishing my marriage would end, have skids trying to burn down the house....
I think Im about to ask the doc for some meds to block out the world... :sick: :sick: :sick:
This stepmother role sucks
It's likely that you haven't
It's likely that you haven't had your own needs met in a long time and are now resentful towards everyone because of it. I've been there. I've said things that didn't sound like me, and I've been blamed for everything by the SS because he wants to make sure i know he's always on his dad's side. Don't let it get out of control. When you calm down, talk to your husband, and try to make him understand what you're going through and what you need to be happy (because it' not the same thing that he needs.) Bring a professional in the mix if he still doesn't get it.
Wow, this sounds like me!
Wow, this sounds like me! It's my skids' mission in life to make sure that I know that their mommy and daddy are the only ones in our particular circle of hell that know anything or matter. Don't like the shirt I bought you? Daddy picked it out. Oh! It's my favorite! Don't like dinner? Daddy made it. Oh! It's so good!
LOL Craziness.
Agree. That is why I choose
Agree. That is why I choose to be DH's wife. When I have to go to school events, that is how I Introduce myself... skidX's Father's Wife.
DH and BM do not want me raising their kids (just being maid, driver, tutor, laundromat) therefore I am stepmom to nobody - don't expect me to pretend.
I clean my house so that I have a clean house - I put skid and biokid things on their bed and close the door.
I make meals because I am hungry - I make things I like - you don't like it, more for me.
I wash clothes because I need clean clothing, you don't bring your clothes down, I don't go get them, do it yourself or wait for the next round and don't forget to bring it down.
I pick you up because I have to - can't resolve this one yet.
I will answer questions on your homework if you ask me, I am educated and smart. You want to argue, wait for your father and do your homework then or put the wrong answer - I really don't care, its not my grade.
I choose not to engage and go about my daily routines.
I should print this out as a
I should print this out as a new motto for myself.
I resolved the picking up: I make myself so darned busy during their stuff that I can't pick them up or take them places. "I have to work" "I have a meeting" and "I have plans" are a constant part of my vocabulary.
Oh yeah: and my first job as step mom was that I taught them both how to do laundry when they were embarassed that I hung their underwear on the line outside the front door. I hang my clothes out. You don't like it, you do the laundry... now they do their own.
But, for real, the kids aren't the problem over here. My hubby is the major issue. His bipolar puts us all on edge. He acts like it's me, but me and the kids know different.
hahah luv your work
hahah luv your work Druzzilla....im on the wine these days....and looking for the hard stuff soon....
One thing that has worked out
One thing that has worked out for me with the BM: She's totally into putting the kids and herself on meds. Problem solved.
I get were you're coming
I get were you're coming from. I feel lately that I"m constantly on edge and searched frantically for a site like this last week when I thought I was going to break.
A few months ago, after not dealing very well with something BM did I started to cry and said to my husband, "I don't feel like I"m as nice as I used to be. This is wearing me out." His reply was wonderful, "You just have to realize you don't have to like everyone. Just accept that she's not someone you like. You are a wonderful person." That gave me peace for awhile but I'm on edge again.
I would hate to be pushed so far by someone that I felt I was the one needing to be medicated. I'd just feel like they won.