Stressed and Annoyed

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So, I know this is probably completely ridiculous but, I can not like my step-son. I am sure most of it is his age... he is twelve, almost 13! It is constantly something. I use to try really hard to have a good relationship with him. Now, I just try to avoid most conversation with him.

He whines constantly! Someone is always picking on him... the teachers hate him... His siblings get away with more... I'm against him... I don't like him (partially true).... His dad cares more about keeping me happy than taking care of him.... BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.... :sick: This crap gets so old.

As soon as my DH walks on our property from work, he has to talk to him about something right now. He can't even get in the house. Then, as soon as my DH and I start a conversation he comes in and interrupts with something he has to talk about now....Which is usually like... "I forgot" or "I had homework." This doesn't just happen once... it happens ALL DAY OR NIGHT... I bet he say Daddy 50 times an hour!

He has three younger siblings that require a lot of attention and I don't have problems resenting them or not wanting to have great, loving relationships with them... but they also don't try to constantly start arguments between me and my DH and they don't always throw up "well Momma lets me" and they aren't so DISRESPECTFUL!

I feel bad feeling so resentful towards him and not wanting to have the same relationship but I just can't anymore... Any advice would be great!

And I have tried really hard and went above and beyond to have a great relationship and things have went really good, but the second something went wrong it was always my fault and "he hated going to his dad because he hated me"
After I thought things were going great and then he would say that it would feel like someone punched my in the stomach... So I guess I have become guarded.

That is a bad age! He sounds

That is a bad age! He sounds just like my middle school students. Everything is all about them at that age. Even the good kids go through bratty phases

I've talked to many step

I've talked to many step mothers and I really haven't met one who didn't say: "it doesn't get any better." I've been told to stop trying because the relationship won't change. Maybe you'll have more luck, but I don't think your SS's behavior will change. We're doomed!! Either we ignore it, pray for change, we change or we leave our husbands (which I've tried to do at least 3 times!)

Good luck!! Keep venting - it may help some.

I have found that my venting

I have found that my venting helps me a lot. Obviously, I can't talk to my DH because most parents never want to hear the bad things about their children. So, it is good to have someone who understand what I am dealing with!

I have found that my venting

One of the things I HATED

One of the things I HATED about my SDs is their constant interrupting of conversations. I finally told them that they were rude and if it was not an emergency, i.e. a limb cut off or the house on fire then they needed to NOT interrupt and NOT stand there and listen to our conversation. I've also looked at them and told them, "this has nothing to do with you."

I have done both with all of

I have done both with all of the kids... the funny thing is the little ones listened and have been doing so much better about not interrupting, but I think he just does it because he can get under my skin. So, I'll just stop talking and tell me DH "your son wants you AGAIN".

I personally think it is the

I personally think it is the oldest SK issue. They resent us being there and they will not let it go. It got better for me when I disengaged. Another thing that worked was when SD14 would interrupt every conversation we had, I just stopped talking and walked out of the room. Eventually DH got it and started telling her to stop talking. It was amazing, I did it at dinner and when I was cooking and he was left to deal with everything. He got it and eventually she thought I hated her and moved to mommy's full time. Amazing the peace in our house now... She was miserable to be around because she hated the change in her house when I came along and she was doing everything she could to make me leave. Ultimately, she left.

I have to agree that the

I have to agree that the disengage thing has worked for me as well. I find that allowing my husband to handle things allows me to not stress out. The 13yr old SS I have is a constant source of the "Ninja Terrorism" described above. He interrupts EVERY DANG TIME his father and I are talking. Then he starts saying "I love you dada" every five minutes. When he interrupts the only way to get him to stop is to say "You're being rude...we're talking and you interrupted." This embarrasses him and while that's not my intent, fortunately his father agrees with me about his rudeness.

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