Mood swings, etc
Hpy New year to all!
Here I am again thanking you for your presence here.
SD20, is moody as heck.. She mopes around and says nothing is wrong then she locks herself in her room and calls her mom to "vent". Then she gets an attitude. She is always talking about how she misses her mom and that they're best of friends and they call eachother everyday.
Ok.
Why don't you go move in with her then ?
She always comments on how her mom takes care of her when she's sick and why we won't baby her when she doesn't feel good.. Which is every day.. I've never seen a 20 year old with this many problems and she swears that she is in good health.
I am NOT going to baby an almost 21-year old!!!
Oh, and, she is trying to get her mom to call my husband to "discuss her" and is very secretive about it. My husband didn't even know she was going to call. I think I Know what she is up to. She is trying to get me out of the picture .. Again... She tried when we first got married and was unsuccessful . She is a very sneaky and manipulating person. We went out to lunch one day and decided before hand that we would split the check. Fine. Right before the check came, she went to the bathroom.. At the other end of the mall... When there was a ladies room right next door. I ended up picking up the check, of course. I made her pay for parking. WTF!
Anywho... My husband is currently talking to his Ex after over 10 years of not speaking (his job was just to provide $$) and now, she wants to be BFF's?
I am getting ready to go postal.
Help Please ! !
Yeah, right! My DH's ex
Yeah, right! My DH's ex wanted to be our best friend when SD22 was growing up. The brat lived with us and no way mom wanted her home! We had her in family counseling and after I vented one day (amongst adults only) that they needed to step up and discipline THEIR child, her reaction was to send me a lovely gift basket filled with soaps, etc. Like that made her lack of involvement in her child's life ok. The kid was only about 12 at the time and was starving for her mother's attention. She got NONE. Mom was too busy drinking and whoring around town. DH could never and will never say no to his daughter, so she grew up to be a spoiled, manipulative, conniving bitch! And she just had her own baby today. Another tool to manipulate her father with. She lives with BM now, thank goodness, but calls daddy about 5 times a day (that I know of anyway). She has always been a moper and door slammer, in addition to her many other vile qualities. No way would she ever even pay for parking, much less split a bill with me or her father. But then, I would never take her shopping, lol! BM wants to be friendly and "helpful" just so your SD doesn't come home, that's how I read this. BM may be friendly and nice to her on the phone, but you can bet she doesn't want her in her house! For all you know, part of her moping may be due to BM telling her she can't live there! But she will be happy to "help" by talking to your husband. I wonder where your SD picked up those manipulation skills? Hmmmmmmm
Why does she live with you?
Why does she live with you? Is there any way she can go back to live with her Mother since she obviously wants to be there. It DOES sound like she is working on getting you out of the picture - the old 'Parent Trap' game. IS DH aware of the last time she tried this? And you must feel outnumbered. Get her out of your house as soon as possible and tell DH you have a few old boyfriends you will be contacting.
In a way, it sounds like this
In a way, it sounds like this SD is trying TOO hard to make her mother sound wonderful. Is she possibly building her mother up in her own mind - because she wishes her mother was really that great in real life?
Or, she wishes her mother would stop being her BFF and be a Mature Adult, and be a PARENT to her, instead of a buddy.
My skids mother is like that. She is their "friend" but we have noticed when the skids have a problem, they don't seem to go to mom, they go to their immature, bad advice giving friends instead. It seems they don't want moms advice - but they will take her money!
My SD22 is very similar, the
My SD22 is very similar, the only difference is that she has no dad she can/wants to call.
She has no control (or so it seems)with letting any bad moods or feelings out onto everyone around her.
If she is in a bad mood, EVERYONE knows she is in a bad mood, if you try to tell her to keep it to herself she gets even more mad and tries to imply that it is in some way her right or privilege as "the child" to have temper tantrums and treat everyone around her like crap, and in turn it is the adult's "job" to accept it and let her do it.
If she pushes hard enough to where we get pissed and finally tell her to SHUT UP or tell her "No one wants to be around you!", then she gets very depressed and acts like it is so cruel of us to be mean to her etc.
She just doesn't GET that no one in the REAL WORLD gives two shits about whether or not she is happy or sad and most people will just choose to get away from her if she acts like this, leaving her miserable and alone.
We still haven't found a constructive way to teach her this.