So very sorry QueenBee1, Been there done that. Did it for 8 years and tried so hard all that time to make it all work so my husband could have a relationship with his daughter. Well, after 8 years of humilation insults disrespect and isolation which my dh did nothing about SD decided she was not winning this fight to get daddy back, so she had a baby. Well she upped the anti then to the point where I banned her from the house and was more than happy for DH to go live with SD.

That was 7 months ago, no contact from SD is wonderful. DH seems to be getting happier also. Still time will tell.

Ultimately if the SK's do not want a relationship with you, they will not have one. It appears that the choices are really all theirs. We need to treat them as we would any other person who treated us so badly, and our DH's either need to support us, support their rude selfish ill mannered off spring or do something about the behaviour of their kids. Far to often they do nothing then we make the decision for them, which is to back off or take off. Whichever way we do it, these spineless men who will fatherd but will not parent their daughters never have to make the decision, the decision that would be in the best interests of their daughters, to teach them what relationships are, what boundaries should be, and where there place is in this relaltionship with his wife...........it is as a daughter and a stepdaughter, it is not as NO:1 top dog mini wife running the home demanding all of daddy's time. It is as part of this new family, not the ruler of it.

If your husband wont' sort this out, then you will have to. Hopefully you will find a way soon that you are happy with, not just tolerating. For my part banning this evil woman from my home was the best thing I ever did and I do not regret it one little bit. She was pure evil, she did not want to see her father happy she wanted to separate daddy and I so he would know what it was like to be left like he "poor" mother was, and then she wanted to see us both dead (freely admitted it) and yet daddy could not see past her. Now she does not see her father, her daughter does not see her grandfather, he does not see his sons because his daughter will not allow it therefore he has two other grandchildren whom he does not see all because this piece of work wanted to make daddy suffer. I would think that her mindset is such that she does not even notice that she has hurt her child in this vendatta against her father. See the situation for what it is, see the SD for who she is, and treat her as you would any other person who treated you as she does.

The loyalty you give your husband needs to be a two way street, they did not show us any loyalty or respect when they allowed their daughters to treat us like this. I wish you all the very best. I am so glad and relieved I am out of it now. I have found some self respect and treated myself accordingy.

HUGS to you Queen. Your not alone. A lot of us have been there including me. We are here to listen, anytime.
Hang in there

I hear you loud and clear. Same situation here. The deep hurt caused by the betrayal from DH takes a long time to heal. I am still in the early stages of disengaging and DH still hasnt come to terms with it. This morning he asked if I wanted to walk over to SD's to visit the grandkids. I said no, I was busy. He said, don't you miss the gkids? I said yes I do and that's it. Take care of yourself. ((hugs))

The depression is all part of this step parenting gig, please do not let it get to you. You cannot allow this girl to make you feel that you do not want to ever wake up again. Let's be honest here, she got all that sympathy for a tutor she had met once for 1 and a half hours, do you really want to give her the opportunity to milk your demise, she could get free lunches for a lifetime over that one My SD milked her own mother's death for all it was worth. Got a month off work, then went back half days for another two months, her boyfried even told her father and I that she had hatched a plan to ask her father to pay for her mother's funeral and if he didn't she was going to tell him to piss off out of their lives.

Now seriously would I want to go to sleep and not wake up over someone like this, NOPE and neither should you. This too shall pass. You will find a release here and company, you will find others who have been and are in your situation, and a trouble shared is a trouble halved.

Hang in there we all get what you're going through. Just rememember this, she is not your real problem, your DH is, he brought her up like this, he condones and encourages this, and the way she is is a direct result of his parenting. I tell you this not to make thing worse but to get your focus of SD. See, you probably love DH and when you love someone it is easier to forgive and not hold a grudge, you do not love SD (why would you) you probably don't even like her much, so trying to forgive her is futile. Put the blame where it belongs, sure she wanted the car but HE signed for it, he did not have to he did it because he WANTED to, trust me, we think it is the daughters manipulating them, but the truth is, daddy loves it.

Oh goodness I know the feeling. I have been part of my sd life since the day she was born. The bm wanted to catch my husband - they were never married. She only told him when she was 7 months pregnant. He left her as he said if she could lie about that what else could she lie about. We had our first baby last year and things got really bad since then. She sd doesn't want to come and visit us. She only wants to go to his parents. And they allow it. She wants nothing to do with us. This weekend we had family photos taken she didn't even want to be in a photo with us. Oh and the best she doesn't even want to greet us. She has said to my face that she does not love me, and told her mom that her father doesn't love her. There is always something!!! Just hate it. the sd is now turning 5 in May. I mean a child of 5 and she is doing stuff like this - this is not normal.

Might not be normal but it is very common. Young children are just as capable of emotional blackmail and manipulation as adults. Children learn VERY early in life what stratagies work in order to get what they want. A 12 month old can manipulate its parents. And they are alot more successful at it BECAUSE they are so young. And most people flatly refuse to believe thats what they are doing because they are so young also.

Thanks StepAside my SD would be very pleased with your confirmation that she is the winner. I say confirmation because she is well aware she has been evil and she is proud of it. She has bragged about the things she has said and done to us, and as I have said before even threatened to throw herself out of the boyfriends moving car one day because he had not backed her up that day when she was here and had been particularly vicious. She said if he did not hate us the way she did she was going to throw herself out and opened the door.

Hells bells, don't know what is wrong with that boy he should have done himself a favour and not pulled the door shut. Not long after that she got pregnant. Now she had boyfriend safe and secure with the I'll kill myself episode, so she has the accidently pregnancy to get the first prize her daddy away from me.............I do wonder sometimes and laugh to myself about it, how does she feel knowing daddy did not leave me for her baby. Knowing that she does not see daddy and is stuck with the baby, because this baby must be getting some of boyfriends attention, attention that used to be reserved only for her