In my past 2 blogs, I've explain most of the crap I deal with with my DH, SDs and their BM. A few people have told me to leave because the situation I'm in is toxic for me and my son (my bio son with DH). I know I'll feel guilt for leaving SDs and I'll be heartbroken from all the love and effort I've put into raising them as my own. And I love my DH very much.

In my past 2 blogs, I've explain most of the crap I deal with with my DH, SDs and their BM. A few people have told me to leave because the situation I'm in is toxic for me and my son (my bio son with DH). I know I'll feel guilt for leaving SDs and I'll be heartbroken from all the love and effort I've put into raising them as my own. And I love my DH very much.

BOTH skids made homecoming court. SS16 is going to be a junior representative.

FML.

And now DH is p*ssed at ME for being p*ssed at the situation. He is asking for counseling. He said 'I refuse to do to the littles what I did with the bigs. Take that as a threat if you want but I REFUSE.' Meaning - he refuses to lose time with the little boys by being separated from them via divorce. 

DH can't understand why I harbor resentment toward the skids. "You've known them since they were little! I don't understand how you cannot be attached to them! It doesn't make sense!"

Well THAT went over like a whore in church. We met with BM and all of the discussion related to the birthday party went off without a hitch.

Then I decided it was time to defend my household and call BM out on her bullsh*t.

I spent a large chunk of yesterday not eating and stewing over everything that happened the night before. There were moments during the work day where I could hardly choke back the tears and keep working. I Googled “how to know when you’re ready for a divorce”. Ultimately, I don’t think we are there but it is still floating on the periphery.

The bitch asked for more money again. She made a financial decision without us and expects us to just “pay our half”. Same shit, different day.

So... Tuesday is my one year, and probably last, anniversary unless something changes. My 24SD came into town and since “she is not comfortable staying here”, like I care at this point, DW has checked her into a hotel. That’s fine with me because until she can respect her her mother and my marriage, she isn’t welcome here anyway. This is not something I have shared with DW because I just play the disengagement thing and say, “hmm, ok. That’s nice”, and then change the subject. 

There are so many lessons learned as we proceed through the mine field of divorce and child custody and co-parenting once the process is final that it might be a good thing to share our experiences with others so that they may learn from our experiences and avoid some of the mistakes we made along the way.  

Those who are new to the process are often overwhelmed and don't really know where to begin.  We know that divorce is the next best step, but how do we file?  What do we ask for?  What can we expect?