This is OT but I wanted to mention this as it has been bothering me. H heard me talking to a friend on the phone after MIL's funeral and got very upset with me. First let me say I'm a Baptist and MIL was a non-practicing Catholic. For some reason the oldest sil decided that the funeral should be Catholic. I told my friend that the service was a bit confusing to me as I have never been to a Catholic service before and I was afraid that I might have done something incorrect. I wasn't sure if I should have apologized to the priest and oldest sil or if I should just let it go.

At H's counseling session Friday he started playing the blame game. Everything is my fault, I realize that this is a coping mechanism but it sucks. I told him and his doctor I refuse to take the blame for sd's behavior that's on sd and H. He created this monster now he can deal with it. I think what brought it on was that morning he tells me that I need to start on sd's graduation announcements and planning a party for her. I said clearly and loudly NO. I'd already told him I wanted nothing to do with any of it.

MIL had open heart surgery Fri., her doctor told her she only had a 15% chance of survival but without the surgery there was no chance of her lasting another week. She passed on last night, she had been in so much pain the last few years. I'm very worried about H, he has all this anger building inside him. He and his mother had a lot of problems until I came along and they had made up. So losing her now is really hurting him. I'm watching him closely in case he has a breakdown. I'm hoping for a breakthrough instead.

I just got back from the VA, H is staying a few days for evaluation. The doctor gave him a complete exam, the first he's has had since he left the service. We knew he had high blood pressure he takes meds for it. It seems he is also in the first stages of adult onset diabeties. I know from dealing with my father that it can causes mood swings. Right now I'm trying to understand what it must feel like to be in his body. I know from experience, pregnancy and menopause that hormones can make you crazy.