When I first took up with a divorced man, with three children, my brother tried to warn me. He told me the ex-wife would always be a problem, that she would find a way to throw a wrench in every holiday plan, that she'd drop the kids off unexpectedly when she knew we were going out of town, that she would do whatever she could cause as many problems as possible in our house. I hoped he was wrong. 
Now, almost 10 years in, I know he was so SO right. Every one of his predictions came true. She has caused problems for almost every major holiday.

Let me start by saying I had no kids before marrying DH. The only frame of reference I have is how I was raised, and watching my siblings raise their kids, in a slightly healthier version of how we were raised. So I often question whether something that bothers me is actually wrong, or just not something I'm used to.

We celebrated SD16's birthday on Wednesday. It was nice, but she did one weird thing, which she does every birthday and Christmas.

As she opens each gift, she asks who it is from, me or DH?

The first time she caught me so off guard I just answered her question as she asked it with each gift. But it bothered me, so I was prepared in case she did it again, which she did.

At each subsequent gift-giving event, we have answered that the gifts were from both of us.

But Wednesday, her dad finally laid it out for her.

This year, we planned to have our Christmas celebration with the Skids on Christmas Eve, and send them back to spend Christmas Day with their mother. As of yesterday, she announces she wants us to keep them overnight, until midday Christmas Day. I hate it when she does this; makes unilateral decisions that affect my home and schedule, as if I'm not here. I could put my foot down and insist they go back, but they'd go back to an empty house, apparently. I'm working Christmas Day. We won't be celebrating that day.