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Am I evil?

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 1:10pm

My skids live with us all the time. They are 14, 15, and 17. (We also have a son who is 8.) They are supposed to see their BM EOW.

Am I evil for wanting to them to be gone? BM changed plans with SD17 at the last minute without consulting DH, so BM just took SD and left the boys here. I commented to DH it wasn't fair for her to reschedule my weekend without our permission. And he gets all pissy, "She's crazy. I don't want them there, it's better they didn't go..."

I wish I knew what she was thinking...

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Fri, 01/15/2010 - 8:30pm

My New Year's Resolution was not to let BM drama effect my life anymore. I am trying to remain calm. I was so pleased how things have gone around here this week. DH really stepped up and made sure his kids were doing their chores and school work and all that. We'd agreed I was to have no contact with BM for a time. I guess it was bugging her, because she called and left a message to apologize for her behavior, and she "wants things back the way they were between us." She misses her "best friend."

Curious? Repeated cycle?

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 8:28pm

I've been very active here lately, and am realizing most of us in the stepmom role deal with crazy BMs.

Just curious? How many of those BMs also come from homes with divorce when they were younger? Does the cycle really repeat itself?

If so, how can we ever be expected to have a lasting affect on our skids? How do we break that cycle?

I'm interested in your stories and thoughts on this...

Miracles Do Happen!

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Sun, 01/10/2010 - 8:46pm

DH and I have spent the past four days snowed in with the kids. It's been surprisingly pleasant!

The skids and BS have the Wii set up in the living room. So when DH and I weren't sharing the kitchen table to do school work (we're teachers) we were either playing games with the kids or snuggling in our room watching TV.

Aren't you ever happy?!

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 10:06pm

What exactly am I supposed to say to DH when he asks me this?

When I know from my counseling sessions that pretty much the answer to this question is "when the kids aren't around"???

I am happy at work, with my friends, with family- just not the family that live in my house! We are happy together when the skids are gone; when it's just the 3 of us- him, me and our son.

How to get a clean house?

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 6:21pm

Skids are 17, 15, and 14. DH doesn't believe in chore charts, and doesn't want me to assign the kids chores because it creates "bad feelings" in the house...

How the hell do you keep your house clean?

I have a 90 minute round trip commute each day. I teach all day, I drive home, I get home to a messy house and kitchen, and I'm supposed to try to cook? The skids get off the bus an hour and half before I get home. They should do the work- they made the messes afterall.

Suggestions?

Told DH who he reminds me of...

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Mon, 01/04/2010 - 5:59pm

Remember the dad in the movie "Mean Girls?" He lets the daughter go to the school dance, even though she's grounded and he's like "Oh, you don't let them out when they're grounded?"

Yeah, that's my sweetie! SD17 ran away Friday night. (See other posts if interested.) When she finally came home and he really talked to her Sunday morning; he was like, "I'm taking your car, I'm taking your phone, your boyfriend can't come over..."

Well, she drove errands for him Sunday, and sent me a text message from school today, and her boyfriend is here for dinner now.

Mantra?

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Sat, 01/02/2010 - 9:27pm

What phrase do you repeat to your self to remind you the skids really aren't your problem?

In the New Year, I am looking to disengage. It's not going to be about them anymore. As I am furious with DH for not yet talking to SD17 about running away and lying last night, I am needing something to distract me, and there isn't a dang thing on TV and I'm getting so good at our new Wii bowling game that the boys kicked me out the of the living room. LOL

Suggestions for my new mantra?

Happy Frickin' New year to Me!

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Submitted by Last-Wife on Sat, 01/02/2010 - 2:06pm

To sum it up, I have spent the last 2 days telling my DH to man up or I'm leavin and trying to track down a missing skid

My new Year's Resolution is not to allow anyone else's drama to control my life. SD17 came home from staying with friends for New Year's Eve and told me she was giving it 2 weeks for things to improve or she was moving out. "I'm just not happy here, and it's not a good environment for me."

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