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New Year, Same *hit (Update on my Situation...and LONG VENT, but I NEED HELP PLEASE!)

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:07am

So I haven't posted much in a while, pretty much since I made the realization that it was my marriage and not specifically the step situation that was the problem that I wanted to get out of, so I thought I'd give you guys an update.

Book Recommendation for those Grappling with Whether to Leave or Stay in their Relationship!

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 12:42pm

I haven't blogged a lot lately because frankly once I accepted that my issues in my marriage were pretty much all marriage related rather than specifically "step-related" (i.e. no crazy BMs, out of control SKs or CS issues here!) then I changed my focus from how to deal with my "step" situation to how to deal with my marriage.

The Difference

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 08/18/2010 - 12:19pm

So I was talking to a co-worker yesterday about her 18yo D who just graduated HS in June and is now going to straight to college in this week. Her D got such good grades in high school that she has a full-ride scholarship to a expensive, PRIVATE university. What's MORE, her D has WORKED part-time in a daycare for the past 2 years (since 16yo) and even though D will be staying at home while attending college to save on those costs, D is looking for a JOB to subsidize her own "fun" while attending school. I should note that D is the product of an intact, nuclear family.

Do you feel like the “Parent”?

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Submitted by mommylove on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 3:58pm

Have you ever been mistaken by someone as your SK’s BP? How did that make you feel?

I know there are a variety of situations here; some where this “mistake” would be an accurate the reflection of the SP-SK relationship, while others might cringe in horror at the mere thought!

My SKs aren’t “bad” kids, nor unattractive ones. I would NOT be "embarrassed" if someone mistook them for my own BKs, but at the same time I do NOT like it when people mistake me to be my SKs’ BM, mainly because that means people assume I have children that old!

SAHP Parenting SKs?

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 1:36pm

I am just curious as this is not my personal situation, but for those of you who are SAHP (either by choice or due to job loss, etc.) while your SO is the SOLE breadwinner, do you feel at all OBLIGATED to parent ALL of the CHILDREN (including your SKs) given that your SO is providing for the WHOLE FAMILY? If so, do you feel that your SO expects this of you or that you simply place this expectation on yourself? Finally, if you think your SO expects this, do you feel that your SO gives you "permission" to parent the SKs as you see fit?

SD doesn't want to Live with us?!

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 1:16pm

So the first time this thought came into my head was during our first appointment with the counselor when H basically said that he'd promised SD11.8 she could come to live with him when she turned 12, and that if I was not prepared to agree to that then we would be "delaying the envitable" to continue trying to save this marriage!

Update on Counseling, SD's Summer Visit, Vacation

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Submitted by mommylove on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 10:54am

Well, H & I have our second counseling session under our belt. H still dominated the convo but I did get a few words in edgewise this time - enough to make H actually threaten to walk out on counseling at that very moment (the TRUTH HURTS!), but he didn't. Then again, like after our first counseling session, we've been getting along GREAT as though we didn't just sit in a room saying we felt hopeless and gave our marriage a 1 in 10 chance of survival! :jawdrop:

Separate Finances?

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Submitted by mommylove on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 9:35am

Someone posted something last week about separate finances working very well in their marriage (as part of someone else's blog on a different subject) and I can't seem to find that post anymore.

For those who have have maintained separate finances in your marriage, how has that worked out? (I am specifically asking MARRIED people on this one because I happen to believe that UNmarried couples SHOULD ALWAYS maintain SEPARATE FINANCES, but that's JMO.)

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