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"THE" Talk

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Submitted by mommylove on Thu, 06/10/2010 - 10:57am

So H and I had "THE" talk lastnight where I FINALLY aired out all of my grievances about our situation and why I suggested that we separate a couple days ago or go to counseling to try to fix things after he expressed that he really didn't want to separate and wanted to try to work it out. It actually went surprisingly well. Similar to the other night where I expressed that I wanted to separate - it was very mature - no yelling, arguing or cussing - there was some crying, but that's to be expected.

GREAT News!

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Submitted by mommylove on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 6:25pm

Just found out SD11 will NOT be spending the summer with us! H asked BM to contibute to the childcare bill & just as I suspected she said it was too much money & decided to put her in another childcare program by her house the was MUCH cheaper & H will b contibuting to that instead.

Counseling?

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Submitted by mommylove on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 5:59pm

Well, I did it. I finally had the talk I'd been planning to have w/H, only it didn't go quite as planned. I just said things weren't working & I didn't want to live like this anymore, & we never got to the "why" because he just agreed that we should separate.

Refusing the Summer Visit Pt 2

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Submitted by mommylove on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 10:28am

Will someone please stick a fork in me 'cause I'm so DONE!

Yes, helping care for the household and the children who live there are part of the requirement of living in MY HOUSE where I pay MOST the bills, including those for OUR BS1 even though you can afford to help more but you don't, but half-assed housework and mistreating my child because you resent having to do it or because you are not happy with me or your life is UNACCEPTABLE! If you are so unhappy PLEASE do us ALL a favor and LEAVE!

Is it so wrong? (Vent!)

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Submitted by mommylove on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 7:47pm

Is it so wrong to want to get what you pay for?

I have 2 jobs: I'm a full-time employee and a full-time mother of 2. I work hard at the first job to support the second job. I bought this house by myself and have continued to pay for it by myself, so don't I pay the cost to be the boss?

I don't ask for much, just to be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor: being able to enjoy my home with my children. Shouldn't I be able to feel comfortable in my own home? To not have to walk on egg shells and subsidize mediocrity?

This is it!

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Submitted by mommylove on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 6:59pm

Well, this is it...tonight's the night! It's time to have the long overdue conversation with DH that I've been dreading for weeks. Time to shape up or ship out!

I'm anxious and sad - so much so that my stomach has been upset all day & I took the long way home from work to delay this unpleasant moment as much as possible.

Even sadder, DH has been playing VERY nice the last few days - certainly he feels the tension. Of course I can't let that sway me...

...here it goes!

The Compromise

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 06/02/2010 - 10:43pm

As a follow-up to my post regarding "refusing additional time" for DH with SD this summer per BM's request, here is what I will offer as a compromise:

1) Instead of the FULL summer (2 months) when the most we've ever had in summer in ADDITION to eow is a couple weeks, let's make it 1 month,

2) SD11 will NOT be left in my home alone during the day. Where she goes during that time is up to DH & BM,

3) If DH can afford to pay for SD's childcare during that month then he can afford & WILL pay BS1's childcare for that month too,

How do I move on?

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Submitted by mommylove on Wed, 06/02/2010 - 10:15pm

So, lately I've realized that the fate of my marriage pretty much rests on who's needs are more important and therefore should be put first - mine or my children's. Being that I've never been a selfish parent, once this choice became clear it was a no brainer which I would choose.

Divorce Odds?

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Submitted by mommylove on Tue, 06/01/2010 - 11:39pm

For those who have been married before, were any of you concerned at all about the odds of your second marriage failing given you'd already been divorced? Did you do anything differently prior to remarrying in an attempt to prevent the reoccurrence of divorce? If your current marriage fails, would you marry again?

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