I was getting sick of SD's behavior. When she acted out she would make a huge public display and then race to make sure she talked to dad with her lies before I got a chance to talk to him about it. He doesn't like to be bothered at work because it makes a hard job for him even harder and can't carry his phone on him most of the time but he checks it. I would be willing to wait to talk to him after he got home but she would take advantage of this and call him over and over until he would eventually answer. It felt ridiculous and infuriating when he would get mad at me!

No one except SD15 has access to her phone. It has a screen lock and she sounded like a demented injured animal howling for almost an hour the one time I seen her dad take it away from her. It was honestly the most disturbing tantrum I had ever seen.

DH loves his DD15 and I love DH. He thinks she is wonderful in every way and I think we all feel that about about our own kids to an extent. I try to see her as he sees her. I seek out the positive traits in her and then hold onto them - sometimes desperately. She is very intelligent. She gets good grades and makes a natural leader. She is quick to defend those who are intellectually disadvantaged from being bullied. She is athletic and good at basketball. She supports her teammates and motivates them to do their best.

Fast forward 10 years and to more specifically two days ago. SD15 hasn't outgrown her tantrums because they still work for her. Where most of us would walk away from a tantrum her dad first objects to it even happening, then pleads with her to stop,  gets really angry, and eventually gives in.